[Mushverse: Ankh and Eiji, also open to other Greeed]

[catcameback]

I'm not a total jerk. Ankh asked me to tell him if I found out about any of the others coming back the way we did.

I could just call, I guess, I have a phone and I know how to use it and it would be easy enough to find the number for that crazy restaurant they live in.

But I'm restless. Lots of stuff has been happening at home lately, and I kind of feel like if I don't give myself something to do, I might go out and start a fight. With the stupid guy who kidnapped Katsumi, or that stupid pirate jerk who screwed up Joe's entire state of being, or... God, the list is endless.

But I don't want to, so I look up the address to Cous Coussier and walk there instead, toying with my Switch as I walk. Not pressing it, just sort of rolling it between my fingers, and wondering whether I should tell any of the other Greeed about it.

Comments

[redgreeed]

He's really cute when he's confused. I know it still irritates me sometimes, and I will probably continue to yell at him whenever he doesn't understand simple things. But in private, alone, I can admit how cute he is when he's like that.

But then he speaks, and my heart does that shuddering, painful breaking thing again.

"Eiji," I sit up, propping myself up on one arm and staring down at him, unable to keep the concern from face. "Is that what you think happened?"

[hinooo]

He sits up, leaning on an arm, and gives me the oddest look.

"Y-Yes? There's no matter of opinion about it, Ankh, I killed you by fighting with you." It's simple, and all in the past, and all better now because he's here with me. But for some reason my voice is still hoarse.

[redgreeed]

I flounder for a moment. Of course, he didn't know, and I told Hina not to tell him. I'm amazed though that she didn't tell him, even after I was gone, about how she found me. The state I was in after Maki was done with me.

"I was already breaking," my voice is tight as I try to explain. "Hina found me in the woods, Maki he... Eiji, you didn't kill me. I was already dying."

[hinooo]

A deep, slow shudder ripples through me. The things he went through without me horrify me. Hell, the things he went through with me horrify me.

"Ankh," I murmur, feeling the tears come. I reach out to press a gentle hand to his chest. Yes, still alive, though that's obvious. I just... feel better when I'm touching him. "Then I still killed you more quickly. You might've had more time."

[redgreeed]

I cover the hand his has against my chest with one of my own, gripping, squeezing, trying to reassure him further that yes. I am alive. I am real.

Maybe I'm also trying to reassure myself.

"Stop being so stupid," I choke out, the tears I see in his eyes making my own throat constrict painfully. "I gave you the last piece of me. My heart and soul, or whatever equivalent a Greeed could have to those. Fighting with you, being one with you like that, it was my choice. And it was the most perfect ending I could have asked for. Dreamed of."

It was fulfillment. Satisfaction. It was all the things my kind had dreamed of.

And that's the heart of the problem now, isn't it? I achieved my goal. I had a perfect end.

And I came back. And now how to I move?

[hinooo]

He puts a hand over mine. I close my eyes for a moment, focusing on the feel of him, while I listen.

Ah.

Yes.

Yes, that's it.

"Th- thank you," I say softly, bowing my head forward to rest my forehead against his. "For that. For all of that. I didn't want to risk you, didn't want to hurt you, but there was no choice, and you were so definite. You helped me."

...and he's sounding a lot like Maki here.

[redgreeed]

"You never wanted to risk anyone," I sigh, closing my eyes for a second as our foreheads meet. I brush my nose against his, then sigh again, shakier this time.

"Except yourself, to the point where you always sounded so..." Suicidal. I clear my throat, and open my eyes again. "But it wasn't your decision to make. And it wasn't your decision that was made. You needed me, you needed my help. And I, for once in my existence, was willing to put myself and my wants aside and do something to help someone else."

And, oh, maybe that's what being human really is.

[hinooo]

"I can't let others get hurt because I'm not strong enough," I say quietly. It was bad enough with Date-san and Gotou-san.But at least I knew they'd chosen their path, not been assigned to it by how they'd been created. I can let others fight, I know sometimes there are too many enemies.

But I... don't cope well with others fighting *my* fight. Taking risks that should be mine alone.

Getting hurt for me.

"I was so proud of you," I tell him, smiling though it hurts to think of it. "Furious at you, grateful for you, and so proud of you."

[redgreeed]

I click my tongue dismissively at his praise, my ears going red completely against my will. There's still a tight lump of twisted up emotions inside my chest, and I still feel shaky, uncertain, and lost.

I just can't deal with the thought of Eiji feelings guilty about my sacrifice. He shouldn't. That wasn't the point.

I kiss him, soft and slow, my hands coming up to cup his face as I settle down against him again. The knot in my chest starts to unravel, and I can feel tears coming on again. He's so... he's so stupid, and now he doesn't have OOO anymore, but he's going to keep fighting because that just the way he is.

He's going to get himself killed. And he's going to leave me. And I know, I know I did the same thing to him. I died, I left him behind literally holding the pieces, and it's only through some twist of fate that we're together again.

But I just... I can't lose him like he lost me. It's selfish, but it's honest.

I break the kiss to compose myself a little, keep my eyes mostly dry. I kiss across his cheek to his ear, my voice wavering as I whisper. "Tell me you love me again."

[hinooo]

He tchhs at me, which I could've predicted. Another thing I love about him. In the midst of all this confusion, all these big questions and difficulties, he is still wholeheartedly himself.

The red ears are new, though. And adorable. I carefully don't comment.

He kisses me gently, nestles back down against me. Crying. Hell. He's moving, though, pressing careful little kisses on my skin, then he whispers in my ear.

"I love you," I say immediately, hand coming up to the nape of his neck to gently hold him against me. "Always. Completely."