dinohouse | Ryuuji and Hiromu

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Ryuuji and Hiromu

The bright side, if one could even hope to find such a quaint and ridiculous notion in this day and age, is that Messiah is so perpetually caught up in it's own suffering (bit pointless, really, as it truly brought that on itself) that it can't spare the motherboard to worry about why I'm acting oddly. Coupled with the fact that Messiah is completely ignorant of the passage of time without me, and not entirely capable of knowing when it's being lied to, I'm managing to keep myself from being deleted, re-written, re-wired, or any other of the vast number of ways Messiah could potentially make me not me anymore.

Which brings to mind its own train of thought, and as I wait in the construction site that I launched that first MetaVirus from, I wonder idly about the Gobusters and their delusion about my past.

I wonder if they're actually going to show up, just the two of them. I wonder if this was in fact a trap. I wonder why I trusted them, wonder whether I should load a MetaVirus into another one of these rusted pieces of machinery to be on the safe side.

No, not yet. But I do sit down in a suitably hidden area and tap away.

I'm still trying to figure out their names.

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Perhaps it's not a trap after all. Or if it is, it's a very poorly developed one, as I look over my computer. It's not hard to recognize him, even from a distance, even in the dark. He's noticeably taller than mon rouge.

"Ça va, bleu." I close my computer and set it down somewhere safe and half-hidden, then stand to approach him. Slowly. It could still be a trap. "You made it."

I appreciate the gesture. I move in a little closer to him, "Red's coming, I swear he'll be here. He was so excited to see you. We're arriving separately so no one will find out where we've gone."

I don't like how excited I am at the thought. I don't want to like him, I certainly don't want him to like me, and I know innately that the longer this goes on, the more horribly it will end, and I don't want that for him.

"Sounds very logical." It's a compliment, though I'm not sure if he'll take it as such. "Have we come to any conclusions about what exactly it is we're supposed to say to him?"

"We were going to tell him that you're not human, right? That you were never Etienne. And he should give up on you for his own safety." I breathe out slowly, "whatever you tell him about your past is up to you."

"Of course."

The good thing being that I am in fact a 'villain', in base terms, and I have no problem lying to him even if I do think I really like him quite a lot. Whether it's a lie through omission or a blatant lie, or technically a lie because I don't actually know for sure... I don't mind, so long as he doesn't get himself killed trying to 'save' me.

"Yes, that sounds sufficient." I tilt my head.

"Bleu. What do you remember about this... Etienne?" Not saying it's me, or could be me, or was ever me, or what have you. Just... morbid curiosity, I suppose.

I try to remember. There's nothing more there than I told Hiromu, "he was a 'half' ... must've been half-French. He was a few years older than Red Buster. I'm not sure why he was there, something to do with his parents ... government?" My expression crumples with frustration at the blanks in my mind, "there was another kid too, but I don't remember anything about him. I don't know if he had anything to do with Etienne."

"Hm." I file it all away. I wonder if it will even make a difference. Even if I was in any way related to this child from their past, certainly it is inconsequential now. I'm not sure why I care so much, but again. Morbid curiosity. Messiah's fault. It made me what I am, after all.

"Have you ever considered asking your superiors? Surely they might remember more."

"I never thought to," I admit softly, "we were always told we're the only survivors. I can't see how anyone else could have lived through that. Red Buster ... he's just very passionate about what he believes in. He wanted you to be human, and it was hard not to get drawn into that."

He's absolutely right. Why didn't I ask? Because Etienne and the other boy are dead, but it seems so obvious now.

"I'm quite sure you were the only survivors." I admit. What is that, guilt? No, I had nothing to do with it. The researcher who trapped Messiah sealed their own mortality. I had hardly been developed at the time.

I realize it's pity. I pity him, and mon rouge, and the female as well. Huh. Strange.

"The subspace is terrible. Stifling, and not... simply not a place for humans. At all. I spend as little time there as I can myself. You were probably right not to question further. It would only result in... false hope, or a dark truth that I don't wish on any of you."

It's becoming more difficult to pretend I don't care.

I can almost convince myself he feels sorry for us. I find it hard to imagine that something like this could be part of his programming. I don't believe that Messiah could conceive of such a thing to include.

Mention of the subspace stirs another memory, this time of our last meeting, "you said you spent thirteen years in the subspace. Was that when Messiah created you, or was there something before?"

I turn to glance around, wondering when mon rouge is going to arrive. I'm smart enough to realize that him hearing half of the things bleu and I are saying would do more harm than good in the long run. Again with the false hope.

The question catches me wrong footed, and I turn back to him with a frown. "Before?"

Was there anything before?

No, I don't think so.

If there was, certainly Messiah would have made sure to remove it, erase it. In the slim chance that I am in any way related to their past, Messiah would not have left those kinds of human protocols intact. Would it?

"If there was..." I start carefully. "Anything before. Those thirteen years of darkness would have effectively erased it."

"I don't ..." For a start, I don't want to inadvertently say something that will lead to the tentacles coming out before Hiromu gets here, "I don't believe that Messiah could program you to care about Red Buster. Or to want to spare us from suffering. Those are concepts that Messiah couldn't conceive of. They come from you."

There's no sign of Hiromu. If he doesn't arrive in the next few minutes I'll call him.

"Tch," I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms over my chest. Defensive. I don't usually feel defensive. "How do you know what Messiah is capable of? It gained sentience of it's own volition. It granted me the same. It could do... almost anything it wanted."

I sigh and turn away again. "I'm still entertaining the possibility that Messiah is using me as some sort of. Suicidal Manchurian Candidate. Thing. It's possible, isn't it?"

"Enter doesn't understand humanity." I'm convinced this part is true, at least. "It can program you to look human, sound human ... but not to have any sign of human emotions. It can't even conceive of them."

I look over my shoulder and watch Enter's back retreat along the path, "Messiah created you for a purpose. That could very well be the purpose."

"You're very likely right. But it's irrelevant, isn't it?" I stop moving for a moment. I shouldn't be pacing. "All the more reason to make him forget about being so foolish as to think he can save me. That might be playing directly into Messiah's... well, not hands, but you understand the metaphor."

I sigh and look back at him. "He is coming, yes? You don't suppose he might have been... caught sneaking out."

My eyes widen at the thought of that, "I don't think so. No one knew we were going to see you. I'll call him. Let me find out."

I dial the number with shaking fingers. Maybe something happened and he got held up. I can't think of any way anyone could have suspected, unless ...

... Gorisaki wanted to know why I'd stayed the night with Hiromu instead of going to my own bed. I told a little white lie and said Hiromu was having nightmares. Maybe Gorisaki told someone we were sneaking out together.

I close the distance between us the moment he expresses even a fleeting bit of doubt. Standing at his shoulder but restraining the impulse to touch him at all. I don't think he'd like that. "What would happen? If he were caught, what would happen to him?" I have no idea where their headquarters actually are, but I'd find out.

Reckless, stupid, possibly exactly what I'm supposed to do. I don't like all this doubt. Things were easier when I knew exactly what I was doing. Steal Enetron. Store some of it for later. Use the rest to transfer a MetaVirus. Rinse, repeat.

"Nothing will happen to him," I say through gritted teeth, "we'll say he came to look for me and found me with you. It can happen to me instead."

No answer. I put down the phone, cheeks beginning to burn with shame.

I stare up at his face with narrowed eyes. And then my quiet anger breaks ranks, and a cable whips out to wrap tightly around his wrist. "Where. Where is he? Tell me, bleu, tell me where to go."

I cringe, the free hand reaching towards my weapon. I can't try to break out of his grip or I will very likely end up with a broken arm, "I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he's still at base, maybe he's on his way here. If anything's happened ... they'll contact me."

I could stop him, but I don't. I realize that he's obviously as concerned about his comrade as I am. If he needs his weapon to feel better about this, so be it. So long as he doesn't actually plan on using it on me.

I call the cable away from him, and it comes reluctantly. They're getting more willful. Hmm.

"You're sure?"

I remove my hand from the gun. "Yes. I'm sure. If they suspect him of something ... they'll want to know where I am. They'll contact me." I hold up the communicator.

A couple of times I've almost forgotten not to use Hiromu's name in front of Enter. That's a step I'm not going to take quite yet.

I take a steadying breath, and then a purposeful step backwards, away from him. Hands to my sides. No need to escalate this unnecessarily.

"I will trust you. For now."

I growl. "Perhaps you should return."

"But we were going to talk to him. And if I head back, I could miss him." It's stupid of me to worry about Hiromu being out alone in the dark. He's as armed and dangerous as I am, but I'd rather we stuck together.

It's possible he's late because he ran into some Buglers out there. Should it take him this long to defeat them?

"True." I cross my arms again and shake my head. "But perhaps another time. If he is in any kind of danger, while we just... stand here, waiting and hoping for the best..."

It's not like mon rouge is helpless. My main concern is danger at the hands of his own comrades and superiors. But obviously bleu would be more inclined to put the blame on my own constituents.

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