dinohouse | open to any Go-Busters players from any universe incl Mushverse, ogods what am I doing

I sigh and shake my head. "Fine. Keep deluding yourself. See if I care. Eventually I will figure out what is wrong with me and escape this place."

"I'm sure you will," I say peacefully. "And then we'll meet again, Emeric. You won't get rid of me so easily."

"You will never understand the meaning of the world futility, will you, Hiromu?"

Takosawa grumbles again and I glance over at him. I wonder what's going on in that mechanized head of his. Guilt? Doubtful. Worry for my brother, much more probable. Something else entirely? Who knows.

"No, I don't suppose I will, since if it were easy I would have succeeded in disposing of you already."

"I don't think this is futile," I say after a pause.

I grin at his second comment. "I'm not that easy to get rid of, no. Emi? If you didn't have any restraints on you, if you could do what you wanted, what would that be?"

"But it is, I have told you countless times and for an excess of reasons why your actions are futile and yet. You. Persist."

He's asking questions now, and I frown at him and spread my arms, wagging my fingers. "I am not restrained, Hiromu, you made sure of that. Though if you are implying a theoretical scenario in which I was allowed free reign to do as I pleased, I am quite sure I would leave."

"You're smart, but you're not always right," I say cheerfully. "Yes, I do mean that. Not physical restraints. But I mean what if you didn't have an obligation to Messiah, what if you had your own body? What would you want to do? Where would you stay, how would you spend your days?"

I blink at him and then shake my head.

"I am not going to play your frivolous game of what if, Hiromu. That is not the truth, not the reality, not the simple way it is."

"I know," I say, mostly hiding the disappointment. Mostly. "But it can be helpful for goal setting. To work out what you actually want."

I don't really indulge in wishful thinking. Just in goals. Define your goal, work towards it.

"What I want? Setting goals?"

He is deranged.

"All I have wanted for the past thirteen years is to protect my brother, Hiromu."

"Yes, and that's the long term goal," I say calmly, probably pissing him off, but what else is new. "You have to work out what to do day to day that's achievable that will get you there."

I frown at him again. He is driving me insane with his insistent questions, I'm not entirely sure why I'm bothering to answer.

"I have already been doing all that I can, Hiromu, remember, that's why I'm the bad guy."

"...you're not the bad guy."

I know this sounds stupid, but I don't know if I've ever meant anything more in my life. "You don't have to fit that role. You're you."

"You're wrong." I snap at him, scowling. Takosawa actually scoots closer, I must be making him nervous.

Fine.

"This isn't a game. I can't imagine what I would do if I weren't beholden to Messiah. The fact of the matter is that I am."

...he'll get there.

"We'll fix that. Sooner or later," I say, not budging at all. "Don't worry, Emi."

"You're deranged." I grumble, shaking my head. "What do you think there is to fix?"

I turn to look right at him, to meet his eyes with mine. "Do you think, if you destroy Messiah, it will simply release me into your waiting arms?"

"If we can rescue your body -- when we rescue your body, and permanently disconnect you from Messiah. Not easy, no, but fixed."

I cringe a little at that, I have to admit. I'm not one to have stupid big romantic dreams, generally speaking. I have my principles that I stick to, and I fight against anything that tries to stop me.

But that comment did hit home. "No," I say quietly. "No, I don't think that. But your life will be yours again."

"You misunderstand me. So allow me to clarify," I say softly, carefully...

Warning.

"If Messiah is to be destroyed, it will take me with it."

I watch his eyes.

"Is that a threat? Or a fact?"

Some kind of self-destruct?

"Not a threat." I inform him plainly. "A supposition. Messiah has sustained me for thirteen years."

...ah. That's not so bad.

"Then we need more information," I say plainly. "You're in avatar form. When you have control of your own body again things will be different."

I roll my eyes at him again. "What makes you think it's possible for me to regain control of my body? What if my body can't be saved, Hiromu, what then?"

"Then we'll deal with it at the time." I don't think he quite realises he can't destroy me on this, he can't make me lose hope, he can't make me give up.

If something happens that makes rescuing him impossible, that makes giving him his own life under his own control impossible, then I'll... deal with it at the time.

I haven't seen anything like that yet.

I laugh at him for that one and shake my head again.

"D'accord, d'accord." I raise an eyebrow at him, shoot a glance at Takosawa, wonder briefly what my brother will think of the report his faithful Buddyroid is bound to bring him.

"You think it is your place to fix everything that has gone wrong in thirteen years." It's not a question.

...

What.

Why does he think that's so strange?

That actually nonplusses me where most things haven't. "...yes?"

I stare at him for a moment. He truly does not understand why I think this is odd. He is too, far too human.

And I am... anything but, anymore.

"You were seven, Hiromu. None of this is your fault. None of it is yours to fix."

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