He grabs onto my hips, and he's really strong for being a little guy. Not that it hurts, it's just firm, it's real and concrete and holding me down right here, right now, not letting me float away into the mental space of what if's and who me's and why now's.

I think he's blushing, but maybe it's just my blush reflecting off his face, because I'm burning up. And... And I don't think all of it is embarrassment.

After a moment, or maybe it's several moments, or a week or two, I can't breathe anymore, it's like I forgot how, and I break my mouth away from his and tip my head down so I'm not gasp-panting right in his face.

"Sh-shit." It's a good curse, just overwhelmed, not upset. But who knows how he'll take it. He can be really jumpy.