dinohouse | Enter Free For All [any universe, any version, just let me know, noisy muse is noisy, etc.~]

I laugh softly, and as politely as I can. "My grandfather can't cook either. This would probably be the sort of family meal we'd have, were we to have them."

I begin eating, nodding my agreement at the compliment to the chef. When I'm address again I set my chopsticks down and swallow before speaking.

"Not usually. We're here on business at the moment." I glance at Kanji, still trying not to blush every time I look at him. "I don't mind. It wasn't that prying of a question."

"It's nice to sit down and eat together even if it is someone else's food." I mumble, behind my hand and chopsticks with my mouth full.

Ma admonishes me and I glower at her but swallow before continuing.

"Still it's not like you gotta tell her your whole life story."

The meal finishes peacefully enough, and I mostly listen to Kanji and his mother talk about their day. Or, Kanji's mother talks about hers, and he gruffly supplies snips of information about his.

It's not unlike mine and my grandfather's conversations, only I am usually the one to be more... forthcoming.

After dinner Kanji's mother ushers us off to his room, saying something about how it's so nice that Kanji has such a nice young man for a friend. I blush at that, but I'm grateful she doesn't know... hn.

I could just about kill ma when she more or less shoves us together and straight into my room.

I don't want Naoto-kun to see my room. I don't want any of my friends to see my room, even if they do know pretty much all there is to know about me. Guy's gotta keep some things private, doesn't he?

Like the fact that my school books gain about as much respect as my futon does, which is to say shoved up against one wall and out of the way as long as I'm not using them.

Most of my room is dedicate to my... crafting. I hate that word, it sounds so dumb, but there ain't any other word for it, so fuck it. My crafting, then. A bunch of tables at all different heights including one with a proper chair and shit, 'cause leaning down over a sketch gets hard on my back. There's doodles all over that desk, plans and patterns and stuff. I've got one of ma's old sewing machines set up on another, and another has different products at various stages of completion. Half-stuffed bodies and detached heads and rolling eyes and everything.

And just about everywhere else that isn't obviously a work space is covered in mats and tools. Yarn, fabric, spools of thread, needles of both the knitting and sewing variety, hooks for crochet and hooks for embroidery and...

"It's kind of a mess." I admit, trying not to sound too embarrassed.

Edited 2012-11-28 07:08 (UTC)

Kanji's room is almost startling at first. I half expected it to be covered in crooked posters from hard rock bands and vague unintelligible English phrases.

After the initial startle though it makes me smile. It's actually perfect. It reminds me a little of my own room. Not that I sew, or knit, of craft. But my room is a testament to my work, to my own craft. Covered in cork boards with case studies and witness reports and crime scene photos pinned to them. Shelves for manuals, a locked file cabinet for the more sensitive materials and notes, a entire wall dedicated to detective novels...

I glance around, then turn to smile at Kanji, warm and open, as warm and open as I can be anyway. "I like your room."

Well, he isn't running and screaming, so I guess it's not that bad.

Hey, what do you know, he's smiling at me.

I smile back, if somewhat awkwardly. "Hey, thanks. Um, it's not... Well, do you wanna sit?" I cross the room, kick some skeins of yarn away and pull my chair out from my drawing desk.

"Oh, you don't have to go to any tr-." But then he is before I can even finish my sentence, knocking yarn away and tugging his chair out from his desk.

I smile again, my cheeks feeling slightly warm, and nod my thanks as I take the offered seat.

"How have things been in Inaba?"

Naoto sits down, which is good, since I went to the trouble and all.

Not that it woulda mattered if he hadn't, I don't really care, I just figured he'd be more comfortable, is all.

I crouch down, elbows over my knees, and shrug a bit. "Quiet, mostly. I mean, until today."

"So then would it safe for me to assume that the event that transpired today was an isolated incident, and not a part of a reoccurring phenomenon?"

There I go again, slipping right into work mode. But I have to know what we're up against.

Shadows don't come out of the Television world. If they have begun doing so, then the entire world might be in very grave danger.

I nod along while he speaks, then pause when I realize he's not just talking but actually asking me a question.

Then I realize I have absolutely no idea what he asked.

Might as well be honest.

"Uh. What?"

He doesn't follow my words, and I can't blame him. I'm fairly certain not a single one of my peers would have followed the entirety of that sentence.

I've spent too long lost in police reports and detective novels. I really need to remember that not everyone has my vocabulary, nor should they.

To be fair, Kanji could probably ramble on about yarn related crafts and I wouldn't understand a single word of what he was talking about.

"You're so cute." I blurt out suddenly. Then nearly bite my tongue in half. Why on earth would I say that aloud!?

"I- uh. I-I mean..." My cheeks are burning, and I reach up to tug my hat down slightly. "What I mean is, was that the first attack like that th-that's happened in Inaba? Or have these things b-been happening for a while?"

Judging by the look on his face, I figure if it were anyone but Naoto-kun they'd start teasing me for being slow. Big dumb Kanji, mostly he's just fit for hittin' stuff.

But it's Naoto-kun, so I know he ain't gonna tease me, he'll just try to dumb it down for me a little.

Only instead he calls me cute.

My hands had gone for a project all of their own accord while we were talking, and the doll falls out of my hands with it's head only half sewn on, stuffing spilling out of it's neck.

I think my face is gonna burn off. Naoto hides his eyes and I look away, towards anything else, the wall, or my futon-

Fuck, no, not my futon.

The wall, then.

"Uh, n-no." His stammering ain't any worse than mine is. "I mean, there's a-always weird shit goin' on but n-nothing like that freaky guy." I try to keep the conversation going without addressing the cute comment.

Not that I ain't curious, but I can tell it made Naoto uncomfortable to say it and I ain't about to harp on it like some of our friends probably would.

"You don't think he was some kinda Shadow or somethin', do ya? Or maybe he was like, somethin' like what happened with that fuckin' cop? You don't think-" I pause and take a steadying breath, hoping enough time has passed to let the awkward go, 'cause I kinda gotta look at Naoto right now. "You don't think Izanami came back already, do ya?"

I pay attention sometimes. It ain't all just hittin' stuff.

Awkward, stammered moments pass between us, as we each pretend that outburst of mine did not happen.

Not that it was untrue. Kanji is cute, I have considered this about him before, weighed his features in comparison to the others of my age I associate with. Well, the male companions I keep, I've learned as I've grown that I don't find much personal enjoyment in looking at members of the opposite sex.

Opposite gender? That's probably more accurate. From what little I've read on my physical and mental situation.

But I digress, Kanji is attractive. I never thought a ruffian would be my type, but he's has a gentler side. His eyes are pleasant to look at, when I can bring myself to, and he's tall, strong, well proportioned...

I am not making this situation any easier on myself.

"I wouldn't rule out the possibility." I finally say, once I am able to look at him again, and him me. "Though it is probably too early to make that sort of call. It would be worth looking into though."

"Have you stayed close to the other members of the Investigation Team? I speak to Yu-senpai and Rise-chan sometimes, when they're not too busy, and Yosuke-senpai texts me at least five times a day with random inane babble." I try not to laugh at this, but I'm afraid my smile gives away my amusement.

"Are you dating anyone?"

...My eyes go wide, and I find myself clamping down on my tongue again.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before shit starts going crazy again. Just the luck of Inaba. I don't like it, and I really don't like the idea that it might be happening again so soon.

I ain't even had my birthday yet.

"You're probably right." I agree, and grin when he asks about the rest of the team.

"Oh, yeah, you know, I see everyone at school in the halls and stuff, Chie-senpai, Yukiko-senpai, Yousuke." I grin awkwardly. "Second year's kinda boring without you and Rise though." I count the members out on my fingers. "And Teddie's still living with Yousuke's family, working at Junes, you know. And that leaves Yu-senpai but you probably talk to 'im more'n I do..."

Then he asks me...

What? What in the fuck is that supposed to mean?

And why, why does he, why would he, I mean, he, why would he care?

"Uhhhhhh."

Super eloquent, Kanji, and real classy too.

"N-no?"

"Please forgive me." I apologize as soon as my teeth release my tongue. "That was a private question that I had no right to ask, I am not sure what has come over me today."

I stand quickly, trembling a little. I smooth my pants down, though they don't need it, and repeat the action with my shirt.

"I should..." I adjust my hat.

I should probably go.

But I can't manage to get my mouth to work to actually speak the rest of that sentence. It's as if my mouth doesn't know them.

"Uh."

Come on, Kanji, get it together. Answer him. Say something.

I stand up too, and take a step closer to him, shaking my head. "No, it's alright, I mean, it's not. It's not super private or anything, I don't mind, I really don't..."

He pulls his hat down over his eyes and I know exactly what he's thinking even though he hasn't said it yet, and before I really realize what I'm doing I grab his arm just above the elbow.

"You don't have to leave."

My arm tingles where he garbs me, but not from the pressure of his hand, not in the normal, physical reaction sense of my arm being squeezed too hard.

No this is very much in the same category of physical reactions as my burning cheeks.

"I don't?" I look at up him, and blink. "I don't."

"I do not want to leave."

I don't quite realize I'm holding my breath until he says he doesn't actually want to leave, and then it all comes out in a rushed sigh.

"Good," I say, almost without thinking, and then I immediately take a step back from him and consider our options for second before I return to my crouch, guessing if he really wants to stay he can sit back down in the chair.

"I mean. If you gotta go, you gotta go, that's totally fine. I wouldn't want your granddad to be mad at you or nothing."

He crouches down again, and it is really quite amazing how tall he is. Crouched down like this, he is only a small amount shorter than I. Or perhaps I am just feeling extra small today. How irrational.

I miss the weight of his hand around my arm. It is an unusual sort of longing. A new one, one I should take time to process...

"Kanji-kun, I believe there is something very wrong with me. I see, to be suffering from an extreme lack of judgement, the kind I have read comes from imbuing significant quantities of alcohol. But as I have not recently, nor have I ever, imbued alcohol, I can only conclude that something else, possibly illness or something more supernatural, is effecting me."

I step closer to him, staring at his face.

"I must ask your forgiveness for what I am about to do, for it is crossing a line that I fear you do not want crossed. However, I find I am unable to stop myself."

I lean down the short distance between us, and press my lips against his.

I stare kinda blankly at Naoto as he starts rambling. I'm not even entirely sure I'm following what he's saying, 'cause it doesn't seem to make much sense, even if I translate it twice down from Naoto-speak into normal-speak then down again into Kanji-speak. Sorta seems like he's saying that he feels drunk but he's never been drunk, but then I wonder how he knows how it feels if he's never had a drink, and then I'm trying to figure out what he's expecting me to forgive him for because I'm a little distracted as he moves closer, and with me crouched down like this and him standing up, he's almost a head taller'n me and I have this fleeting thought that he probably likes that, but then he's standing right between where my knees are cocked out and he's leaning down and

Oh.

Oh!

I almost pull away just out of confusion and being startled but the much smarter part of me holds me still and knows that if I pull away first, Naoto might not ever come near me again.

And damn it, no matter what, that's the absolute last thing I want.

So I stay very very still, and I clutch at my own knees so I don't grab him because I don't want him to think I'm forcin' him to do nothin' he don't want, and... and my lips part, just a little bit. So... So I can taste him better.

What on earth has come over me!?

Why am I doing and saying these things? It is not at all like me, I am a rational person, I rarely even lose my temper...

Oh, Kanji's lips are softer than I had ever anticipated. Soft and warm and not at all unpleasant. I confess, I have never kissed anyone before, so I do not have a lot of examples to pull from for comparison, but this, this is...

His lips part, and my cheeks go hot. He is not pulling away, not shrieking and flinging himself across the room. Not yelling and demanding I get the, ahem, hell out of his room.

He is responding naturally, and I, being a human, find myself responding similarly. Fascinating.

I breathe out a sigh through my nose, and part my lips in answer to his.

I slowly start to rise from my crouch before I fall over, gotta equalize my center of gravity. I don't pull away from Naoto as I do it, though, I keep our mouths together somehow.

Alright, now I've got to admit that I've gone and got myself sunk a bit too deep, way out of my depth in fact, totally screwed.

I've never kissed anybody before, unless you count quick pecks to Ma's cheek when absolutely positively no one else can see. Which is a totally different thing from this anyway! This is...

Romantic, is the word, and my heart is pretty rapidly crawling its way up my throat like it wants to crawl down Naoto's and hide there in his chest along-side Naoto's own heart, and wow, that's kind of morbid, Kanji. But sorta romantic too. And I berate myself silently and the whole time I'm just bent down with my neck at an awkward angle and my lips pressed against Naoto's and both of our lips are parted and we're just... holding there, and I realize that neither of us knows what comes next.

Well, shit.

Well, I don't know how kissing's supposed to go, but Rise's made me watch enough of her videos and dramas with her that I know one thing that makes her squeal at inhuman pitches every time it happens. And I know I can do it, and while I'm not sure it's normally something two guys get up to... Well, except it sort of was, when Rise was in that one drama where she cross-dressed to get into an all boy's school and it happened, and while that's obviously not the same thing as me and Naoto, not at all, I think the principle stands, and besides, my neck hurts so I gotta do something about that.

So I put my arms around Naoto's waist (gods damn, he's small though) and squeeze tight but gentle, and I lift him up off his feet.

That's a little better, now at least I can breathe.

Edited 2013-04-11 12:34 (UTC)

He stands, and I become acutely aware of how tall he is. I am always aware of it, especially when he stands next to me, even thought he tends to slouch when near me, and he really should not, it is bad for the back...

But now he is kissing me, and standing through it, and this must be incredibly awkward for him.

I wish I were taller. But I am not do for another growth spurt, I will possibly remain a foot shorter than him for the rest of our days, unless he continues to grow, as boys - natural boys - are wont to do in their last year of high school.

Perhaps I should pull away, and maybe apologize for being so bold. Or maybe we could move to sit, and continue from there?

I don't have long to dwell on these options, as Kanji's arms circle my waist, gentle even in their strength, and then he... he...

He lifts me up off my feet and holds me up against him. I can do little but squeak against his mouth at first, a most unmanly sound. I cling to his shirt; I have faith that he will not drop me, but still, the action is new and mildly distressing.

At least at first.

It is also exciting, and sends a curious thrill down my spine, and I choose to hold on to that feeling, and let the fear go.

Naoto makes the cutest little squeaking sound when I pick him up, and I don't think it's unmanly at all. It's just kind of adorable, and especially because of the way it makes me feel. Like I did something right, like I made the right decision anyway, despite my indecision and my fear.

Yeah, fear. I'll admit it, in my own head at least, that I'm scared shitless at the idea of... Well. As if everyone doesn't know already, most all of my friends anyway. Of being rejected. Sure I am! And it's all the worse with Naoto, knowing that he maybe don't know that about me.

Not that I want him to stick around out of pity or some sense of obligation or whatever.

Anyway, I'm able to breathe like this, and he's pretty light and I'm plenty strong, but still, after a while I figure maybe we should talk about this, so I lean down really careful like, so that Naoto's feet get on the floor properly again, and then I straighten with a little gasp and heavy eyelids.

"Wow."

I am back on the floor, feet firmly planted despite the uncertainty of my legs. My hands are still bunched up in his shirt, which now means my arms are reaching somewhat upwards, but I find I do not yet want to let go of him.

"Indeed." My voice comes out several times higher than I usually carry it. I blush furiously, and clear my throat.

"Please forgive me for being so bold, Kanji-kun. Again, I am not sure what has come over me today."

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