"I do love you." I say, not quickly, not blurting it out like I'm trying to make the words fast and more real or something. But the way I said them in the hospital, the way I've thought them about him before and since.

"I just..." I sigh, and try to blow some hair out of my face. "I just don't know how to help you anymore. I don't know what I can do for you. I can't fight with you, not anymore. And maybe I shouldn't be defining myself by what we used to be. What I used to be. Maybe I shouldn't be defining you by what you used to be."