This is wrong. I know this is wrong. But I can't place why. What exactly is wrong here. We're both being respectful, we're both being rational.
I draw in a shaky breath, and let it out slowly. I watch his face for a moment more, trying to read everything he's feeling. His eyes are damp, but he's smiling. His voice breaks slightly, but he keeps talking.
"I think I can manage." This is wrong. "I don't have much."
I turn to head back to the restaurant on my own, hands shoved in my pockets.
I take maybe three steps before spinning around again, staring at him.
"You're not even going to try to stop me?" Not that I was expecting him to, not like this way some test of his feelings. I would never do that, not now. I really intended to walk away after I said I would. Walk away and find myself.
But this whole situation is so wrong.
"'That's all I need to know', you say. Is it really? Is that really all you need, Eiji?" My voice is growing stronger, my tone fiercer. Angrier.
"And forget about need, what do you want Eiji? Do you want me to stay? Do you want to be with me?" The air is still cold, but I'm feeling warmer as my emotions build.
"Do something for yourself. You'll fight for everyone else on this damn planet, but you won't fight yourself. Won't acknowledge your own needs. Who's really human here? Which one of us is really living?"
no subject
I draw in a shaky breath, and let it out slowly. I watch his face for a moment more, trying to read everything he's feeling. His eyes are damp, but he's smiling. His voice breaks slightly, but he keeps talking.
"I think I can manage." This is wrong. "I don't have much."
I turn to head back to the restaurant on my own, hands shoved in my pockets.
I take maybe three steps before spinning around again, staring at him.
"You're not even going to try to stop me?" Not that I was expecting him to, not like this way some test of his feelings. I would never do that, not now. I really intended to walk away after I said I would. Walk away and find myself.
But this whole situation is so wrong.
"'That's all I need to know', you say. Is it really? Is that really all you need, Eiji?" My voice is growing stronger, my tone fiercer. Angrier.
"And forget about need, what do you want Eiji? Do you want me to stay? Do you want to be with me?" The air is still cold, but I'm feeling warmer as my emotions build.
"Do something for yourself. You'll fight for everyone else on this damn planet, but you won't fight yourself. Won't acknowledge your own needs. Who's really human here? Which one of us is really living?"