dinohouse | [Mushverse: Greeed-party!]

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[Mushverse: Greeed-party!]

[Main thread probable post order: Kazari-Ankh-Gamel-Mezool-Uva repeat? For the main thread, anyway, but if any two or three Greeed want to have separate conversations, feel free to make side threads.]

I've got to get Gamel and Mezool back together, mostly because I'm not about to share my parents with Gamel, and also because Gamel really just wants Mezool back. And maybe this time around she can actually give a shit about him instead of just pretending to.

Also I told Ankh that I'd keep him informed and that maybe we should all get together sometime and make sure all the backstabbing and hating each other is in the past. Or at least something we're better able to control.

Something I'm better able to control.

Also that was before Gamel came back, and so now we should probably all get together and talk about what the hell we're going to do if Maki comes back, too.

It takes some figuring out but in the end I send them all text messages telling them to come to the school, which is not in session today, so we can hang out in the courtyard and probably not be bothered.

I asked Megumi to help me make some food, because I think everyone would be in an awful mood if there wasn't any food. I guess it's like a picnic or something.

Ice cream for Ankh, he likes that, right? And no sushi, much to my unending disappointment. Don't want to put Mezool off. No chicken either, so it's mostly rice, vegetables, and sweets, that kind of stuff. I'll survive. I guess.

I bring Yummy too. He is the best cat in the entire world.

Now it's just a matter of waiting to see if they all show up. And whether my first instinct is to betray every single one of them. Again.

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My other self may have changed--but I still feel like we're two halves of the same (heh) medal. Or duplicates. The science of what we were--I was closer to 'my' original form, I think. Before things went twisted-wrong and broken. My medals were dormant for years, but given long enough without me, my desire for completion allowed me to hatch, so to speak.

I nod to his words and draw my hands away, stepping a little back. "Can I tell you a secret, though?" I ask, almost embarrassed. This truth is one hard to tell--made harder because it feels like the assumption is, this time, our forms are not flawed. Still, it's been bubbled up inside me for as long as I can remember, since the moment I woke up and discovered that small, sad fact. I watch Kazari's face, then look to Yummy, trying to be impassive, but waiting for his answer.

I bite my lip, look down, then back up. I hate feeling vulnerable like this. I hate giving into that. But--I have to tell someone, and at this moment, Kazari is... the only one I can trust.

The poor little guy. How long before I woke up was he kicking around, lost and confused and wondering? I had a hard enough time, trying to figure it out, and I had a good family who supported me instead of just being there. I woke up alone, Ankh woke up alone, I think we all woke up alone, but how much more alone must he have been, considering the way he... ended.

I kind of hate Eiji for a second. It wasn't fair, really, it wasn't. The other Ankh got treated special by OOO, just in the same damn way. This one didn't even get a chance.

I look down at him, meet his eyes and hold his gaze for a moment before I nod. "You can tell me anything." I have secrets too. And I might share them with him.

I'm not going to let anything happen to any of us. This is my way making up for all my past transgressions. I'll protect my new family and my old one. And that means both Ankhs, damn it.

"I miss my old body." The masquerading as human thing was weird enough. Of course, I really didn't know any better in the first place, so taking that form in particular was fine. Still--I always felt more natural with my Greeed form, my feathers and wings and beak.

Even if it was half-complete, even if I was missing an arm, so to speak, it was still mine and me. I was beautiful, like that.

I turn my face away, looking to the side. This is really embarrassing, almost childish. "And flying." Does it--does it invalidate how happy I am to be here again, if I still miss what I had?

I don't want to be just a grubby human, but if being a grubby human is how I can actually live and feel and exist--I'll take it. If my family is grubby humans too, that's still great. I can still... be with them. Maybe. At the very least I can be with Kazari.

But I can't shake the feeling that it's up there, in the sky, where I belong, even if at that time, I couldn't... feel it.

That's understandable. I missed mine too. That's why I got another one. I cheated, though, didn't I? Not Medals, but Switches. And crabby had told me I was going to be, like, a dog or something. But I just turned back into me, only with a star pattern etched in front.

Oh. Shit, am I crying? It's not like flying was I think I could do, or would understand how to miss it. But, I can understand. I miss the grace that I used to have no matter which form I was in. I can still access it, but it's not the same, mostly because I can't exactly go around in my other form. I'm trying not to be a villain.

I crouch down a bit again, only to hug him again. He's warm. I'm warm. We're alive and real and human.

"I understand." I need to talk to the crab. If I can get him wings... I know I'll do it.

I find it all really strange. Frustrating in some ways as well--but I clutch to Kazari all the same again. We hug a lot, don't we? The action feels nice; his body is solid against mine, some sort of support in this sea we've been dropped into, unceremoniously. Our bodies are weird, now, parts that work together, I still find it really, really strange.

At least last time I had a few hundred years to wake up. Only three or four now? Human time goes so fast.

"I don't hate it like this, though. I really don't." I smile into his shirt, and hold him tightly. The ache I felt at the beginning--it's beginning to loosen. I feel glad to be back, to be alive like I never was before.

He's definitely bigger now. I think about how I'm going to get older too. That's actually kind of awesome.

"Me either." I confide in him. "I really don't hate it either." I shift a bit so I can stick a hand in his hair and kind of pet his hair the way Megumi does all the time. That's a human thing. And I like a lot of human things.

Maybe this is the way it was supposed to be from the start. They were trying to make life, weren't they? The stupid alchemists trying to play god. They were trying to create some kind of life. I don't think they ever intended us to be human, but...

"You should probably see the others." I'm not sure if it's the best idea, but I want him to have the opportunity to fit in properly. He belongs in the middle with us.

I nod, quietly. "I know now it might be weird. Especially with... 'me'. But I wanted to be here with the rest."

We never really did anything wrong, did we? We didn't know any better. We didn't know how hurting felt, how anything felt at all but the desire to be complete again. We couldn't understand the humans, and the humans couldn't understand us.

"If they can't handle it, I'll still be okay." If the others choose not to see me as anything but a fluke, or if Ankh rejects me, I will brush it off. So what? Kazari understanding is enough. Him knowing my secret is enough too.

I got along fine without them before, and I could get along fine without them now. I really don't want to, though. But showing that to them feels like weakness. I don't like being weak or powerless.

"Yeah," I agree. "That might get a little dicey." I move in close and press my nose into his hair. It's a cat thing, but I don't care. I'm a cat thing too, I know that and I'm not really ashamed of it. "But I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, okay? Not him, not OOO, not anyone. Okay? We all deserve a chance."

And they'd better give him a fair chance. I thought I was the one who spent the longest as a human, but I guess not. Now it's him, he's got the seniority over all of us.

"They'll handle it. I think... I think we all need to stick together."

If Maki comes back, no one'll know how to deal with him but us.

"I won't let them hurt me either. " My words sound cold, but it's true. The insect, the behemoth, the sea-creature and 'me ' can't disappoint me. I don't expect a welcome, so it's better to be pessimistic.

I let him press into my hair and I sigh contently, despite the dour subject of conversation. We're both prone to grooming, aren't we?

I hope he won't mind my instinct to follow him around, either.

"Good." I believe him too. He's strong, in a mental way, I know that. He may not have all the physical strength that he used to, or that we all deserve (maybe not yet, we'll see), but I know he won't let their reactions bother him too overly much.

He's got me, after all.

I'm only concerned about Ankh. Uva probably won't care. Uva hardly knew him. Gamel might be a bit concerned, but maybe Ankh will be better about playing with him now. Mezool could care less about any of us except possibly Gamel anyway, but she's been nice enough.

"It'll be okay. We're back together now, alright?"

I close my eyes and nod again, before scratching the back of my head. "You won't mind if I get mad at them, right?" I'm mostly joking, at least on the part that I actually care what he does in case I get mad at the rest. Whether I get pissed or not depends on them... and 'me'.

I lean against Kazari then, just turning slightly so my side presses into him. It's... been an emotional reunion so far. I hope the others don't affect me as badly.

For the first time in a while, I think I might be nervous.

I smirk at that, then shake my head. "I won't get mad. Just try not to bite anyone." I'm not sure if he would. I wouldn't put it past myself, so I guess anything's possible.

He's really kind of cute. It's a weird word to use, knowing what he used to be capable of, who we really are. But it's true, and I don't care. He's cute, and he's my little cute bird.

"I'll try my best, but if they really deserve it," I shrug. Still, I'm mostly kidding. Mostly! I don't have any grudges.

Doesn't mean I'm not willing to start them, though. My temper's no better than 'mine'. Might actually be worse!

I sigh a little, feeling relieved. Kazari's helped me so much already; I can't wait for the future.

He's joking, being sarcastic, a hell of a lot better at it than I was at first. I am so weirdly proud of him.

I add it to the list of weird-ass feelings I need to ask my parents about, right under 'how come every time I think of this one guy all I can say is that he smells good?'

"See that you do." I smirk. "Try that is. I'm not really ready to take anyone to the hospital, and Gamel's only been back a couple days."

"A few days? It really did take a while," I murmur, almost softly, my voice trailing off as I considered it more. For once I have the advantage here, and I'm not quite sure why. "Then again, I went first, so maybe there was a large delay."

I think it might be because I needed that time. I had a lot of growing to do, even as a Greeed I was immature. Now I know I'm different from 'me', just a little farther away. There's still that desire to cross the distance, to bridge the gap, but I can't do that.

Humans can't do that. They become close by sharing feelings and experiences and I'm not sure 'I' would want to do that. It's part of why I'm hesitant, for once in my life.

"I'll be good. Just make sure I don't get bored."

"Yeah, it did." Take a while, that is.

I wish he'd approached me sooner. If he knew where to find us today, he must have been around. And I'd never noticed him? Doesn't seem likely, but then again, I don't spend nearly as much time in the trees as maybe I ought too.

Still. Would have been nice not to be alone. Not that I didn't have my family, but it's different. It's why I even organized this get together, why I took the time to go tell Ankh in person about Uva and Mezool. I want us to be together, like we almost were, at the very end there.

"Well, I'll try. There's always Yummy."

I feel at home, better, comforted here. Is it something I was trying to chase as a Greeed? That prospect itself was very likely. I glance at Yummy again and consider to myself. Maybe I should ask my parents for a pet bird. It'd make me feel... more close. After all, didn't we have ties to those beings we created? Even then, feeling some responsibility towards a living creature, one I felt kin to seemed like an attractive prospect.

"There is," I smile, and cross my arms. I keep thinking a lot--so much, these feelings are weird and unnerving and overwhelming. I hope, this time, I can stay with them. I hope I can make it along with them, my real family. The Greeed are my brothers and sister, no matter what, and they're my parents as well.

The lines between us are convoluted at best, mixing roles and feelings but... I want this. I want to be here. Is it selfish? Will I be again taking from 'my' plate? Only time can tell.

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[Mushverse: Greeed-party!]

[that works v. well]

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