dinohouse | For Joe and Marvey.

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For Joe and Marvey.

I've been waiting to meet Joe Gibken. It's a strangely evocative name. Any mention of him has begun to provoke memories that weren't quite there before; soft skin, silky hair, full lips. Tragedy. Parting. Soldiers, boots, coming towards us. I have no idea how much of this is real (though none of it in this current existence of mine) and how much is fancy brought on by the idea of his being my fated love in every lifetime but this one.

Marvelous wouldn't hear of my meeting him alone, so we've arranged for it to be the three of us. I need to see Joe.

I need to know all about him.

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It's laughable, how fast and furiously my life is going to absolute hell around me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

When I spot the guy, my knee-jerk reaction is that he's that teacher from school, the Biyodo-sensei, the one who looks just like him.

But then I see who he's with, and while the lack of his coat is weird, it's definitely Marvelous with him, so I'm pretty much angry that Marvelous is interfering in my school life.

Then it all slams together with all the force of a pair of crashing freight trains.

This Marvelous is not the same Marvelous. He's not limping, for one, he's running around the other guy with way too much energy. He's... Against all odds, he just seems younger.

And then there's the streaks of white in his hair. Streaks Biyodo-sensei doesn't have, the only thing keeping me from going completely crazy in his class.

Logic would dictate that I've completely lost my mind.

"Sempai?"

It's hard to stay grumpy when I'm with Sid. Despite the circumstances of us being out and about, it's a nice day, and Sid makes me happy. And no little shit is going to take that happiness away from me. I am prepared to fight for what's mine, though I hope it doesn't come to that.

I haven't a clue what this guy looks like, so when someone comes up to us and address Sid as 'sempai' all I can do is blink. Then stare. Then put on my best 'who the fuck ate you?' face.

Strange, there's something about this kid that seems familiar.

I don't need to be introduced. I know who this is.

I take a look. He is very beautiful, as I knew he'd be. Maybe a little older than the hazy image half-formed at the back of my mind; but then the Joe Gibken of my world would have been a teenage cadet, "Joe. I'm pleased to meet you," I bow to him slightly, "Joe, this is Marvelous, with whom I live. Marvelous ... meet Joe Gibken."

Pleased to... meet me?

In what world, what ridiculous crazy screwed up alternate reality or memory span have I fallen into this time?

Sempai not knowing me, it's actually laughable, and then, then he introduces me to Marvelous. Not Captain Marvelous, Marvelous with whom he lives.

Less funny. I take a step back and cross my arms defensively. "You're not... I'm sorry. You're not who I thought you were."

Oh, so this is the fated Joe Gibken.

I size the kid up, giving him a once over and then staring him down. I consider crossing my arms, but instead I just reach for Sid's hand, threading our fingers and not letting him let go.

This is mine, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will not let you ruin this.

"I promise, Joe. I'm your sempai, Sid Bamick. I'm afraid that in my timeline you were a new cadet and we hadn't spoken yet, but I've been told about you. Won't you talk with us? Perhaps a cafe? Don't be frightened." I extend my free hand to him.

I would rather have this conversation privately, but if Joe's nervous, we'll have to have it in public.

I can't help the glare that I fix on Marvelous. He's not the Captain who hates me, but he obviously hates me quite a bit more, without even knowing me. Great.

I scoff at his insistence, about to inform him that Sid Bamick is very much dead, that's one thing I know for sure because it's the same in both sets of memories. But then he says timeline and I remember Gai, and I curse. Loudly. And colorfully.

"Fine. You want to talk? What about?"

"Some fated lover," I mutter to myself, probably not loud enough for Joe to hear, but maybe Sid can. He's gotten pretty good at understanding me when I'm being petulant.

I cast a side glance at Marvelous, but we can discuss this later. Now that he's broken the ice on that score, I can at least make my point.

"It's been explained to me who you are and what I meant to you. I was brought here to see that you're all right. You are, aren't you? Is there anything you need?"

I offer him my warmest smile. He's not being at all amiable; but being in Zangyack can do that to you. The boy must have a good heart. He's the love of every life of every other me.

I take another step back, dropping my head. I can't look at him, looking at me like that. The headache is coming back, worse than ever, pounding at the base of my skull like a hammer.

He might be a little younger than the sempai I knew, but his voice is the same, his demeanor except for that weird deference to a young Marvelous (what is that even about?) and he's worried about me?

Am I alright?

I laugh, a sick choked sound, and then I feel sick.

I'm not alright, no. Not at all.

"I need to sit down."

He doesn't look at all well. Perhaps he's ill and I caught him at a bad time, "of course. Let me help you." I guide him over to sit on the steps outside a nearby building, "are you sick? Should we take you home?"

I almost don't want him to touch me. He can't be real, but there he is, touching me, being as gentle with me as he ever was.

I duck my head between my knees and try to breathe, and I remember another time, trying to breathe, only then it was because of pain, terrible pain in my chest, and Sid was there, Sid was the only one who came for me.

A soldier's memory. A pirate's memory too.

"Why are you here?" I whine pathetically towards the ground. "What are you supposed to do?"

I've been wary of breaching the subject of time and his being the Singularity. I haven't been advised as to whether he knows this is the case, so I tread more cautiously around the subject.

"We were advised that you were ... in need of help. So I'm here to do what I can for you. If you're struggling, I can support you. I am not the same incarnation of the person you knew, but I've been told how much he meant to you. Let me help you, Joe." I reach for one of his limp little hands.

I'll deal with Marvelous later.

I start when he takes my hand, standing up and swaying and feeling ill again, but I can't...

I can't let anything happen to him, not again, not even if he's sleeping with Marvelous and he's just here to... to help me.

"Helping me is what gets you killed." I manage to grate out flatly. "Helping me is the last thing you want to do."

I stretch out an arm, ready to catch him if he falls, "I ran away from Zangyack to be with a pirate. You think I'm too worried about myself?" He doesn't yet know that I did that in this timeline, "I did do that," I clarify.

I notice his arms come out, it's like a reflex, but I know that this reflex isn't meant for me. It's meant for some other Marvelous.

Ran away from Zangyack. To be with a pirate. So this is what would have happened to Sid-sempai if I hadn't gotten in the way. I shake my head and back away, stumbling a bit but managing to stay upright.

"Yeah, well, that... That must have worked out for you, but this won't. Me, I won't. Okay? I'm dangerous."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic, Joe. I am used to danger. I agreed to come here to help you, so please, let me be the judge of the risks I take." I look back at Marvelous, then take another step towards Joe, "would you like us to take you home?"

"Dramatic?" I scoff, more of a harsh single-note laugh than anything, and shake my head. "I don't know who brought you here, or why, but they can't have any idea about... About everything that I'm trying to deal with." I take another step away from him, noticing the way he glances almost in deferment to Marvelous before he tries to follow me. "I can get home on my own."

I think Marvelous is on the edge of doing something rash; and Joe, clearly, has his own problems at the moment.

"Very well, Joe, but won't you accept my contact information? You may want it." I hold out a sheet of paper on which I've written my details. It's folded so as to conceal the letter I wrote to Joe, asking to meet him privately.

I won't hide from Marvelous where I'm going, but Joe and I need to speak together alone. The letter expresses some of the details of my meeting with Ryoutarou and the others; that I was summoned from time to support Joe and help him with anything he may need. I explain on the pages that I am eager to know him and to hear about our love.

I almost refuse even that much. It's not that I don't need him around, or want him around, or anything other than the fact that I know, somehow, if he gets himself involved with me, he's going to end up hurt. Maybe dead. Again. And it will be my fault, just like it was the first time, or times, or whatever. Just like with Gai.

I glance at Marvelous again, then shrug and take the offered paper. "Fine."

How is my life so thoroughly screwed up?

"Thank you. Just think about it, please, and you know where we'll be if you want us." I rejoin Marvelous and bow my head slightly to Joe.

"Well," I say, my voice flat. I cross my arms over my chest, and stare blankly at Sid. "That went well."

"Give him some time, Marvelous. He's frightened and alone." I pet Marvelous's arm awkwardly, "come along. I'm buying you lunch."

My stomach rumbles at the mention of food, and I spend maybe a handful of seconds staying irritated before I soften, reaching for Sid's hand and gripping it tightly

"Curry?" I ask, hope in my eyes.

"Why not? We'll find a restaurant." I clasp my fingers around his and lead him along the street. I do hope we can find one of those 'all you can eat' deals. We may need it.

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