Snagged shamelessly from Bakerstreet.

[terlibra]

Roommates meme!

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE - Wow, college is going to be so fun! My roommate and I get along really well, Mom, you should hear all about it! We like the same music and movies and celebrities and...well, she's a bit obsessive, she got her hair cut and dyed like mine and keeps going on and on about how she wants contacts the same color as my eyes, but she's really nice! She just got in, I'll call you later, bye Mom! (TL;DR - You have a roommate who wants to be you. Have fun)

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK - He could not be more aggravating. Blaring music you think is shit, never taking out the trash, pissing on the floor when he's drunk and not even cleaning it up, bringing over people you can't stand at all hours of the day and night and now what? You cleaned all the dishes in the house and he had to have a bowl of cereal. A bowl he didn't even bother to rinse out. Time for some conflict of the YELLING REALLY LOUDLY!!!! kind.

STAR-CROSSED LOVERS - Obligatory sex option. You've been roommates for a while, but recently those furtive glances have been returned, they put their hand over yours when reaching for the coffee pot, and if something doesn't happen soon, you're going to end up a crying mess or flouncing out to get some poon elsewhere in frustration. Are you going to mesh well, or are you going to find out there's condoms in the house and have to make a trip to the gas station at two in the morning and deal with the worker staring at you as you buy XXLarge condoms?

BURY ME WITH IT - Your roommate is dying. Maybe they came home with a fatal diagnosis and can't help but spill. Maybe you watched them rescue a child from getting hit by a car and heard the thunk of their back breaking beneath ridiculously large tires. Console, comfort, hear their last words, tears and sorrow and a whole bucket load of angst.

HAN SOLO IS GAY - Technology is fun. You roommate takes it too far. Fight to the death. Offender may bring up that he wouldn't be able to do it if his roomie wasn't dumbass enough to leave his laptop laying around in the first place. Offender may have stolen it for the evulz. You never sent this text...

WILDCARD - seriously do whatever you want anon suggested it HERE IT IS

Post with character/universe and the person who replies to you is your new, exciting roommate! (With issues.)

Comments

[blue_pleather]

[Ryuuji would like to clarify that the above list is purely used in mocking of stereotype and he respects all women everywhere, however he is still not sure that anyone/anything is worth the eternal suffering]

You could ... clean the table? [it now resembles a butcher's counter]

[beetbuster]

[<3!]

[considers licking it clean, but right, in civilization now, gets a sponge and starts wiping instead]

[blue_pleather]

[he'll go over it again later with bleach and boiling water; but appreciates the gesture]

Thank you.

[beetbuster]

No problem! Any other things you need cleaned, hmm?

[blue_pleather]

I can't think of anything! Maybe you could ... take a look at the sink later.

[He fears Masato will not be a tidy houseguest, alas.]

[beetbuster]

Hmm. [looks at the sink]

[hilarious]

[okay, but seriously, now he's doing dishes-- it's weird doing mundane stuff after all these years, but it's a nice weird]

[blue_pleather]

[Nice weird?]

[Just watching, did not expect a vampire to be in his kitchen doing his dishes.]

[beetbuster]

[tbf, Masato didn't expect to be doing dishes! But he doesn't mind sharing his house with this guy, and he doesn't want Ryuuji to think he's an asshole or anything]

[eyes a plate carefully before putting it away]

[blue_pleather]

[Ryuuji is anxious. He was not told about ancient vampires before he moved in]

[clears throat, goes to put tea on]

[beetbuster]

[starts drying dishes]

[oooh, tea]

[blue_pleather]

[pours]

I'll put those away. Thank you.

[beetbuster]

Well, okay.

[watches you make tea]

[blue_pleather]

[hands you a dainty china cup then moves to begin putting the dishes away]

[beetbuster]

[old man dishes!]

Thanks. [sips, then sips a bit more]

[blue_pleather]

[Dude. Everybody that's not a vampire eats from dishes!]

[suddenly awkward] I'm ... afraid I don't have a spare bed. But don't worry, I can sleep on the sofa.

[beetbuster]

What, we're not sharing the bed?

[sorry D: He's a blunt dude]

[blue_pleather]

People don't normally do that? Unless they're, well, dating?

[beetbuster]

What, you mean we're not? [cackles, hilarious]

But seriously, if you need your space, I'll just sleep mid-air. I'm used to it.

[blue_pleather]

[can just imagine what'll happen if he wakes up during the night and suddenly there's a guy floating five feet above his bed]

... Are we? [wary of sudden vampire housemate; not sure he wants one as boyfriend too]

[beetbuster]

Sheesh, relax guy! [pats back] You're lucky I came back here, I can help you chill out more.

[blue_pleather]

[taking "chill out" in a rather more sinister sense than intended]

... You don't have to float above the bed. [more because it creeps Ryuuji out than anything else]

[beetbuster]

(OOC- Sorry, my net died lat night. :( I don't how much time I have here, either.)

[sulks-- he thinks floating is awesome]

[but floats down, for Ryuuji's sake]

[blue_pleather]

[ooc: *snuggles*]

[had always thought vampires slept upside down. And in a crypt. Mildly confused now but shifts over to make room]

[beetbuster]

(ooc *snuggles back!* It's stable now, fwiw)

[is touched by Ryuuji's politeness]

[... and is tempted to start purring, just to troll him, but won't, at least for now]

[blue_pleather]

[ooc: hurrah!]

[would be pretty scared of that tbh]

[hesitant to switch the light off lest Masato drain him dry in the night; but does it anyway]