dinohouse | [Mushverse: For Genta and Takeru]

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[Mushverse: For Genta and Takeru]

We've done a fair amount of research since Hiromu accidentally ran into the Vaglass agent that looks just like me, and what we've found out has been disconcerting to say the least. Troubling enough, especially where a certain previous Sentai team is concerned, that it's back to undercover for me. I need to make contact with my best bet at finding out what's going on there, and the best way to do that is to place me back into class at Amanogawa, so I have an excuse to go to Genta's sushi cart.

Of course, for the first two days the cart is dark and folded up, unmanned. I worry that something's happened to him, until the day he shows up as usual, welcoming the few customers that have time.

I sidle up to the counter while his attention is focused on a dark haired boy with a cat perched on his shoulders. Well, it takes all kinds.

"Salut, Genta."

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I bite my lip to keep myself from rambling too much. That isn't the proper thing to do right now.

Once we reach the mansion the Kuroko fuss, gathering Etienne up and rushing him off for treatment. I know his team will need to hear about him before they worry too much.

I know how well the Kuroko take care of people, and I leave Etienne in their careful hands. For now.

My hands are throbbing dully by now, but I don't pay much attention to them, even going so far as to wave off a lingering Kuroko that wants to fuss over them. It's not too serious, and besides, Takeru said he would bind them.

"Take-chan.."

The kuroko take Etienne, leaving an absence in my arms. I am barely holding myself together, and his weight was assisting. Foolish of me.

It takes me a moment to realise that the kuroko can ascertain how to communicate with his team, probably better than I can. Also foolish. I instruct one accordingly, and note that Genta has dismissed another who wished to care for him.

"Come with me, if you will," I respond hoarsely to Genta.

Takeru's voice sounds like hell, somehow worse than it has since I got him back. I nod at his words, following after him where he leads.

I wish I could find words to help him. He's been distant enough as it is, now I'm scared he might withdraw further.

I can't let him. We need him.

I need him.

I take him to the bedroom, invite him to sit on the bed, then I kneel in front of him with the first aid kit.

These wounds are not terrible.

They are, however, caused by my sword. My actions. I quietly begin to bind his wounds.

I'm perched on the edge of the bed, arms resting on my thighs while Takeru kneels and starts to bandage my hands.

He's being careful and gentle, but also focused. He won't look up at me, and that hurts more than the lingering sting of my hands.

"Take-chan," I begin, softly. Then stop. I'm not sure what to say, I've said everything I feel more times than I can count since his return. I don't know how I'll ever reach him.

"Aa," I say softly, as I finish. I close the lid of the first aid box without looking, then take his hands in mine again.

Head bowed over his hands, I can feel myself beginning to shake.

It's not your fault, I'm about to tell him. Again. Maybe if I keep repeating it he'll actually start to believe me someday.

But then he starts shaking, little trembles running through his shoulders, and I can feel a lump start to firm in my throat. "Take-chan?"

I nod jerkily in response to him, but I cannot speak. The tears have begun, and I find myself folding forward, crumpling.

I cannot bear this.

I must.

But I cannot... without his assistance.

He's crying.

I move my hands aside as he slouches forward, and his head comes to rest on my knees.

I hover for a moment, one hand resting on the back of his head, feeling him vibrate against my palm, even through the bandage.

After that moment I tug him closer, pull him in as far as position will allow, so that his head is resting in my lap.

"Take as long as you need," I say softly, my own voice tight with barely contained emotion.

My arms go around his legs, and I know I should feel shame at this, should be concerned about relying on his strength yet again when I have barely finished bandaging him from the last time I hurt him.

But I cannot feel anything but fear, and worry, and... and love, as I clutch convulsively at him. He may not understand me, my voice is thick with tears, but I murmur, "I thought -- thought I'd lost you..."

There have only been a few times when I've seen Takeru truly broken to the point of tears, and never has he clung to me so tightly, not in a situation such as this.

He clings to my legs, and I work one of my hands into his hair (while being mindful of the bandage). I grip a little, and run my fingers slowly through. I do my best to sooth him.

"You didn't lose me." I sniffle softly, my own eyes stinging a little. "I'm not leaving you anytime soon."

His hand is a comfort on my hair, and I allow myself to simply relax against him. Tears still drip down my face but the initial storm has passed.

"I could not -- could not bear it," I admit into the fabric covering his knee. "I am so sorry, Genta. I should be stronger, but again I rely on your strength. I should leave, but..."

He says that word again, and I feel a sharp clenching in my chest. I cling a little more tightly to his hair, ignoring the dull throb this causes my palm.

"Don't you dare leave. Not when I've finally got you back." I swallow hard, still fighting my own tears back. "Do you know how scared I was when I removed that thing Messiah put on you? I didn't know if it would work, or if it might kill you..."

"I will not," I say softly, immediately. "I am too weak to be without you."

I shudder again at the memory of that man with Enter's face, that poor, innocent man with Enter's face, looking about to attack Genta...

I look up at him at last, at the fear and weariness on his face, and my heart squeezes.

"I am so sorry," I gulp, then without my conscious intervention, my hands are cupping his face, and my lips are on his with desperate urgent kisses.

He looks up at me finally, and... oh. His face. The new lines that have formed there. The worry, the pain. It shines even more plainly to me than the tears that still stain his face.

"Don't..." I'm about to protest, but then his hands cup my cheeks, and I have about enough time to blink at him once before he kisses me. Hurriedly. Urgently. Like we're running out of time.

I whimper softly against his mouth, my hands flexing once before they both move, one up to the back of his neck, the other sliding down from his hair a bit, coming to rest on the back of his head.

I part me legs to urge him closer, guide him to lean against me. I don't want any distance between us, not even the slightest space.

His hands are on me, and he shifts his legs to make room. Always accommodating me, always responsive. I surge forward frantically, trying to show him how much I need him.

I think I would have realised my folly eventually were it any of the others apparently on the verge of being converted. And we still need to help poor Mako. But that it was him, my Genta, made it so much worse. I am falling apart, and I need his presence to keep me anchored. He is too precious to be risked, yet at times he will be at risk. I must be with him to do what I can to protect him as he protects me.

He practically falls against me, and I gasp against his mouth, his needy lips, searching for something... I don't know what. I just know that I want to give him everything he needs. Anything he asks of me.

Except if he asks me to leave his side, if he asks to leave my side. Then I will defy him to my dying breath.

"Take-chan..." I whisper against his lips, and then lean into his kisses again, still guiding him closer to me, trying to completely erase any space between us.

I kiss him deeply, as if I'm relearning his mouth, even though I already know the shape of it by heart.

"My love." The words emerge by themselves, but I have never uttered anything that felt so right before.

I lose myself in the kiss, needing him so very badly.

I break a little, but I've just... I've been trying to reach him, trying to keep him afloat since freeing him. Trying to stay positive, trying to keep him from running away.

I was so afraid of losing him.

I break the kiss and bow my head slightly as tears flood my eyes. I sniffle miserably, despite the relief that's washing over me. Or maybe because of it. "I love you, you idiot."

Something tears inside me, and I take him in my arms carefully, gently, because he is infinitely precious and has been sorely tried.

"Please do not cry," I say softly.

I wrap my arms around him in return, and, despite his words, choke out a heavy sob.

I cling to him tightly, not even caring if it makes my hands sting. I just... I need to hold onto him.

I haven't really allowed myself to cry since he was taken from me, and now it's all just spilling out, all my worry and fear. My shoulders jerk a few times, and then I gasp, trying to stop myself from blubbering all over Takeru.

"I'm sorry." I say, very seriously. I'm apologizing for crying, for losing him to Messiah, for not getting him back sooner, for not reaching him sooner after he was freed.

I'm a terrible best friend. The worst lover.

He clutches at me, and I stroke his hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell him firmly, loathing that he should feel so low. "You helped me, as you always do, and you did not give up."

"I should have helped you sooner." I sob, openly, unable to hold back at all, despite my best efforts.

I pull back slightly, not letting go of him, just far enough to look at him, meet his eyes with my own teary ones.

"I love you so much." I gasp, I choke, I swallow hard. "I thought you wanted to leave me after... after I finally got you back. And I..." Tremble, shake. "You were so cold and distant, and I tried. I tried so hard to reach you but you kept turning away..."

"I was foolish," I say after a pause. I do not wish to give him the same answers as before.

They are still true. But they are not the entirety of the truth.

"I am foolish, in fact. There were two choices and both hurt you. I do not like that." My voice is rough but I will not give way to tears yet again.

"Two choices?" I shaking all over now, not quite like violent shivers, just broken sobs not quite making it to my throat, just reaching my ribs and making my chest vibrate all over.

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