[Mushverse: For Genta and Takeru]

[interpolate]

We've done a fair amount of research since Hiromu accidentally ran into the Vaglass agent that looks just like me, and what we've found out has been disconcerting to say the least. Troubling enough, especially where a certain previous Sentai team is concerned, that it's back to undercover for me. I need to make contact with my best bet at finding out what's going on there, and the best way to do that is to place me back into class at Amanogawa, so I have an excuse to go to Genta's sushi cart.

Of course, for the first two days the cart is dark and folded up, unmanned. I worry that something's happened to him, until the day he shows up as usual, welcoming the few customers that have time.

I sidle up to the counter while his attention is focused on a dark haired boy with a cat perched on his shoulders. Well, it takes all kinds.

"Salut, Genta."

Comments

[sonofshiba]

His hands are on me, and he shifts his legs to make room. Always accommodating me, always responsive. I surge forward frantically, trying to show him how much I need him.

I think I would have realised my folly eventually were it any of the others apparently on the verge of being converted. And we still need to help poor Mako. But that it was him, my Genta, made it so much worse. I am falling apart, and I need his presence to keep me anchored. He is too precious to be risked, yet at times he will be at risk. I must be with him to do what I can to protect him as he protects me.

[sushisamurai]

He practically falls against me, and I gasp against his mouth, his needy lips, searching for something... I don't know what. I just know that I want to give him everything he needs. Anything he asks of me.

Except if he asks me to leave his side, if he asks to leave my side. Then I will defy him to my dying breath.

"Take-chan..." I whisper against his lips, and then lean into his kisses again, still guiding him closer to me, trying to completely erase any space between us.

I kiss him deeply, as if I'm relearning his mouth, even though I already know the shape of it by heart.

[sonofshiba]

"My love." The words emerge by themselves, but I have never uttered anything that felt so right before.

I lose myself in the kiss, needing him so very badly.

[sushisamurai]

I break a little, but I've just... I've been trying to reach him, trying to keep him afloat since freeing him. Trying to stay positive, trying to keep him from running away.

I was so afraid of losing him.

I break the kiss and bow my head slightly as tears flood my eyes. I sniffle miserably, despite the relief that's washing over me. Or maybe because of it. "I love you, you idiot."

[sonofshiba]

Something tears inside me, and I take him in my arms carefully, gently, because he is infinitely precious and has been sorely tried.

"Please do not cry," I say softly.

[sushisamurai]

I wrap my arms around him in return, and, despite his words, choke out a heavy sob.

I cling to him tightly, not even caring if it makes my hands sting. I just... I need to hold onto him.

I haven't really allowed myself to cry since he was taken from me, and now it's all just spilling out, all my worry and fear. My shoulders jerk a few times, and then I gasp, trying to stop myself from blubbering all over Takeru.

"I'm sorry." I say, very seriously. I'm apologizing for crying, for losing him to Messiah, for not getting him back sooner, for not reaching him sooner after he was freed.

I'm a terrible best friend. The worst lover.

[sonofshiba]

He clutches at me, and I stroke his hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I tell him firmly, loathing that he should feel so low. "You helped me, as you always do, and you did not give up."

[sushisamurai]

"I should have helped you sooner." I sob, openly, unable to hold back at all, despite my best efforts.

I pull back slightly, not letting go of him, just far enough to look at him, meet his eyes with my own teary ones.

"I love you so much." I gasp, I choke, I swallow hard. "I thought you wanted to leave me after... after I finally got you back. And I..." Tremble, shake. "You were so cold and distant, and I tried. I tried so hard to reach you but you kept turning away..."

[sonofshiba]

"I was foolish," I say after a pause. I do not wish to give him the same answers as before.

They are still true. But they are not the entirety of the truth.

"I am foolish, in fact. There were two choices and both hurt you. I do not like that." My voice is rough but I will not give way to tears yet again.

[sushisamurai]

"Two choices?" I shaking all over now, not quite like violent shivers, just broken sobs not quite making it to my throat, just reaching my ribs and making my chest vibrate all over.

[sonofshiba]

"To stay, or to go."

I try to surround him in more of myself, in silent protest at how I have near broken him. I stroke his hair, his back. "I thought you safer without me. But that was erroneous, and I... I could not bear to separate from you."

[sushisamurai]

I tense at his answer, because that shouldn't even be a choice. Leaving shouldn't even being an option. Not for his duty, the honor of the line he's been adopted into, and not if he still loves me.

He wraps me in his arms again, and I lean into his warmth, starved for his affection after so long without it. "How could I ever be happy without you?"

I pull back just slightly, though not out of his arms. I reach up and gently cup his cheeks, and then lean in to press our foreheads, to brush out noses together. "I've pledged my life to you, I've sworn my name to your line. I won't say I'll die for you, because I know you don't want to hear that, but... but I will go with you to meet death someday, side by side, if you will allow me."

I sniffle softly, doing my best to keep my tears in check. "You are my Lord."

I kiss him, letting it linger before pulling back again. "You are the other half of my heart and soul."

[sonofshiba]

How... How could I ever begin to match that. How could I ever hope to give him one half, one tenth, of what he has given me?

I played lord for so long, loathing but resigned to the necessity of others devoting themselves to me, to my safety. I am lord in truth now, and Genta is dedicated to me both for that reason and because he... because he loves me for myself, and it is too much. I am not worthy.

No. I am not worthy.

But I must be. For he thinks me to be, and because I will not hurt him again by appearing to waver.

"I am indeed fortunate to have you in my life," I say softly. "I can neither thank you enough for all that you do, or apologise enough for all the pain I have caused you. I... I have always loved you, I think, but it took your words on the holiday for me to realise it initially, and your apparent danger for me to accept it this time."

I stroke his hair back behind his ear, fixating on it instead of the roughness of my voice. I will not waver. I will be honest, will answer his strength-in-vulnerability with myself. "I did not stop loving you. I do not believe myself capable. Other... other matters blocked it out for a time, and in my foolishness I allowed it."

I press my lips to his forehead, exulting in the feel of him. In his life, which he has chosen to share with me. "Do not, I entreat you, speak of death, however. You are not allowed to die. I command it."

[sushisamurai]

I sniffle again, as he speaks, as he kisses my forehead. His words wash over me, and I cling to them. As I cling to him.

"You can't command me not to die with you when the time comes." I state, as firmly as I can. "Because there isn't life in me without you. I'll die beside you and meet you as children again in our next life together."

It's a bold statement. A final one. A forever one.

"But I won't mention it again, not until the time comes." I kiss him, not deeply, but firmly.

I let go of him finally, so that I can shimmy back a bit on the bed. I gesture for him to join me, because I need him to stay close to me. Because I think he needs to be close to me.

Because I want to feel his heartbeat as strongly as I did back on that holiday he mentioned.

[sonofshiba]

"Ah, my Genta. Forever disobedient," I say fondly. I will push against the mere notion of his death until the end of time, but I would not have him any other way. He is himself, and an example to others.

To me.

He kisses me, and I let my eyelids close. His lips are sweet, familiar, and again I wonder at myself for being able to consider, on any level, giving this up. I am necessary for the Shiba line, and for the fight, as is he. I foolishly believed myself more of a hazard than a help.

But on a personal level, I could not be without him. He balances me.

He moves up further on the bed. I wipe my eyes unselfconsciously, and join him.

[sushisamurai]

I spread out and settle back on the pillows, reaching for him, guiding him with me. I don't regret trying to stop his sword earlier, but I very much wish my hands didn't need to be bandaged right now. I want to touch him, cup his cheeks in my palms, and really feel him.

I do cup his cheek though, and let my thumb brush lightly under his eye. I sniffle, again, but my eyes are dry now, I'm just caught up in emotion. In loving him so much it hurts.

"You mean more than the world to me."

[sonofshiba]

He cannot keep from touching me, it seems, and I am overcome with a wave of... ridiculous though it is, a wave of relief. He is endlessly forgiving and I am endlessly fortunate.

I catch his wrist gently and turn it over, pressing my lips to the pulse point just next to the bandages. "I would be lost without you," I admit. Not a statement of love, though I love him without measure.

Just a statement of fact.

[sushisamurai]

I could say a lot of things about that, but I decide to let the statement slide. Now is not the time to question him or his feelings, even though I know my Takeru is strong enough to keep going through anything, even without me.

I am glad that he feels he needs me so much though. I don't want him to ever think about leaving again.

"I love you." I kiss him, sliding closer to him. I hook one ankle around his. I shiver slightly, pleasantly... maybe a little fearfully.

Probably a lot fearfully.

[sonofshiba]

I loathe what I have done to him. Physically, and emotionally. The only way out is forwards, however. To try to rebuild his confidence in me. Perhaps I should seek Mother's counsel, also.

I thread my fingers through his hair, slowly, lovingly, as he kisses me.

[sushisamurai]

I can't stop shaking. Not hard, just a low quiver, but still, I am trembling against him, into the kiss.

I draw him closer, right up against him. And I gasp, because it has been so long, so long since I've felt him this close. He's never fully open, but I would like him to be as open as he can be with me.

I want to feel him against me, want to...

I just want him. Maybe more than I ever have.

"Take-chan." My voice is a whisper against his lips. Comforting. Coaxing.

[sonofshiba]

I have never comprehended how he can be so comfortable showing so much of himself to the world. How he can be quite so open.

He shakes against me.

I find that I want very much for that shaking to cease.

"Genta," I respond softly. He has done so much for me, whether or not he has wished to. Anything further at this juncture is a matter for him to decide.

[sushisamurai]

Maybe I shouldn't be feeling like I want to be intimate with him right now, not in this moment, after so much pain. Maybe that's too bold, too crass.

I don't really care.

I want to be intimate with him. Slowly, purposefully. I want to move with him, and feel him move with me. And maybe I wan't to reassure myself that he loves me, maybe I want to reassure him that he is still worthy of love.

I slide my hand down, down from his cheek and over his chest. I linger for a moment with my palm pressed, relearning the beat of his heart, then I glide my hand lower, slowly, not wanting to startle him.

I keep kissing him throughout. Slow lingering kisses.

[sonofshiba]

His hand moves carefully down to my chest, to my heartbeat. I know it is foolishness but I feel as if my heart quickens at the touch of his hand.

His lips are on mine, and I allow myself to relax into that, smiling against him, safe and content in his hands as always. Whatever he wishes to do, I will follow his lead.

I can already feel myself twitching in need.

[sushisamurai]

I make small, vaguely needy sounds, most of them lost to his mouth. My hand slides slowly lower and lower, down to his waistband, which I grip, and tug lightly at, and then gently work the closure of it open.

I don't even have to slide my hand inside, my fingertips brush the warm, toned surface of his lower stomach, and I tremble. The intimacy of that touch, where only my hands have ever wandered.

"I want you inside me." I whisper, maybe too low for him to hear, but I can't imagine he doesn't feel what I need.

I need him inside me, over me, finding his pleasure within me. I want to move slowly, not hurried or frantic. I want us both to cry over how strongly we feel for each other.

[sonofshiba]

His hand dips lower, and my breathing becomes more ragged. I am hopeful that we might be intimate. It is hardly the only way to connect, but it is... important, and fulfilling, and my body craves it with him nearly as much as my soul.

"Ah," I say softly. "I would like that, also."

I find his lips with mine.