Enter | Kurosawa Émeric (
interpolate) wrote in
dinohouse2012-07-28 12:40 am
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[Mushverse: For Genta and Takeru]
We've done a fair amount of research since Hiromu accidentally ran into the Vaglass agent that looks just like me, and what we've found out has been disconcerting to say the least. Troubling enough, especially where a certain previous Sentai team is concerned, that it's back to undercover for me. I need to make contact with my best bet at finding out what's going on there, and the best way to do that is to place me back into class at Amanogawa, so I have an excuse to go to Genta's sushi cart.
Of course, for the first two days the cart is dark and folded up, unmanned. I worry that something's happened to him, until the day he shows up as usual, welcoming the few customers that have time.
I sidle up to the counter while his attention is focused on a dark haired boy with a cat perched on his shoulders. Well, it takes all kinds.
"Salut, Genta."
Of course, for the first two days the cart is dark and folded up, unmanned. I worry that something's happened to him, until the day he shows up as usual, welcoming the few customers that have time.
I sidle up to the counter while his attention is focused on a dark haired boy with a cat perched on his shoulders. Well, it takes all kinds.
"Salut, Genta."
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He's being careful and gentle, but also focused. He won't look up at me, and that hurts more than the lingering sting of my hands.
"Take-chan," I begin, softly. Then stop. I'm not sure what to say, I've said everything I feel more times than I can count since his return. I don't know how I'll ever reach him.
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Head bowed over his hands, I can feel myself beginning to shake.
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But then he starts shaking, little trembles running through his shoulders, and I can feel a lump start to firm in my throat. "Take-chan?"
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I cannot bear this.
I must.
But I cannot... without his assistance.
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I move my hands aside as he slouches forward, and his head comes to rest on my knees.
I hover for a moment, one hand resting on the back of his head, feeling him vibrate against my palm, even through the bandage.
After that moment I tug him closer, pull him in as far as position will allow, so that his head is resting in my lap.
"Take as long as you need," I say softly, my own voice tight with barely contained emotion.
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But I cannot feel anything but fear, and worry, and... and love, as I clutch convulsively at him. He may not understand me, my voice is thick with tears, but I murmur, "I thought -- thought I'd lost you..."
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He clings to my legs, and I work one of my hands into his hair (while being mindful of the bandage). I grip a little, and run my fingers slowly through. I do my best to sooth him.
"You didn't lose me." I sniffle softly, my own eyes stinging a little. "I'm not leaving you anytime soon."
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"I could not -- could not bear it," I admit into the fabric covering his knee. "I am so sorry, Genta. I should be stronger, but again I rely on your strength. I should leave, but..."
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"Don't you dare leave. Not when I've finally got you back." I swallow hard, still fighting my own tears back. "Do you know how scared I was when I removed that thing Messiah put on you? I didn't know if it would work, or if it might kill you..."
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I shudder again at the memory of that man with Enter's face, that poor, innocent man with Enter's face, looking about to attack Genta...
I look up at him at last, at the fear and weariness on his face, and my heart squeezes.
"I am so sorry," I gulp, then without my conscious intervention, my hands are cupping his face, and my lips are on his with desperate urgent kisses.
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"Don't..." I'm about to protest, but then his hands cup my cheeks, and I have about enough time to blink at him once before he kisses me. Hurriedly. Urgently. Like we're running out of time.
I whimper softly against his mouth, my hands flexing once before they both move, one up to the back of his neck, the other sliding down from his hair a bit, coming to rest on the back of his head.
I part me legs to urge him closer, guide him to lean against me. I don't want any distance between us, not even the slightest space.
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I think I would have realised my folly eventually were it any of the others apparently on the verge of being converted. And we still need to help poor Mako. But that it was him, my Genta, made it so much worse. I am falling apart, and I need his presence to keep me anchored. He is too precious to be risked, yet at times he will be at risk. I must be with him to do what I can to protect him as he protects me.
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Except if he asks me to leave his side, if he asks to leave my side. Then I will defy him to my dying breath.
"Take-chan..." I whisper against his lips, and then lean into his kisses again, still guiding him closer to me, trying to completely erase any space between us.
I kiss him deeply, as if I'm relearning his mouth, even though I already know the shape of it by heart.
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I lose myself in the kiss, needing him so very badly.
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I was so afraid of losing him.
I break the kiss and bow my head slightly as tears flood my eyes. I sniffle miserably, despite the relief that's washing over me. Or maybe because of it. "I love you, you idiot."
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"Please do not cry," I say softly.
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I cling to him tightly, not even caring if it makes my hands sting. I just... I need to hold onto him.
I haven't really allowed myself to cry since he was taken from me, and now it's all just spilling out, all my worry and fear. My shoulders jerk a few times, and then I gasp, trying to stop myself from blubbering all over Takeru.
"I'm sorry." I say, very seriously. I'm apologizing for crying, for losing him to Messiah, for not getting him back sooner, for not reaching him sooner after he was freed.
I'm a terrible best friend. The worst lover.
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I pull back slightly, not letting go of him, just far enough to look at him, meet his eyes with my own teary ones.
"I love you so much." I gasp, I choke, I swallow hard. "I thought you wanted to leave me after... after I finally got you back. And I..." Tremble, shake. "You were so cold and distant, and I tried. I tried so hard to reach you but you kept turning away..."
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They are still true. But they are not the entirety of the truth.
"I am foolish, in fact. There were two choices and both hurt you. I do not like that." My voice is rough but I will not give way to tears yet again.
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I try to surround him in more of myself, in silent protest at how I have near broken him. I stroke his hair, his back. "I thought you safer without me. But that was erroneous, and I... I could not bear to separate from you."
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He wraps me in his arms again, and I lean into his warmth, starved for his affection after so long without it. "How could I ever be happy without you?"
I pull back just slightly, though not out of his arms. I reach up and gently cup his cheeks, and then lean in to press our foreheads, to brush out noses together. "I've pledged my life to you, I've sworn my name to your line. I won't say I'll die for you, because I know you don't want to hear that, but... but I will go with you to meet death someday, side by side, if you will allow me."
I sniffle softly, doing my best to keep my tears in check. "You are my Lord."
I kiss him, letting it linger before pulling back again. "You are the other half of my heart and soul."
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I played lord for so long, loathing but resigned to the necessity of others devoting themselves to me, to my safety. I am lord in truth now, and Genta is dedicated to me both for that reason and because he... because he loves me for myself, and it is too much. I am not worthy.
No. I am not worthy.
But I must be. For he thinks me to be, and because I will not hurt him again by appearing to waver.
"I am indeed fortunate to have you in my life," I say softly. "I can neither thank you enough for all that you do, or apologise enough for all the pain I have caused you. I... I have always loved you, I think, but it took your words on the holiday for me to realise it initially, and your apparent danger for me to accept it this time."
I stroke his hair back behind his ear, fixating on it instead of the roughness of my voice. I will not waver. I will be honest, will answer his strength-in-vulnerability with myself. "I did not stop loving you. I do not believe myself capable. Other... other matters blocked it out for a time, and in my foolishness I allowed it."
I press my lips to his forehead, exulting in the feel of him. In his life, which he has chosen to share with me. "Do not, I entreat you, speak of death, however. You are not allowed to die. I command it."
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"You can't command me not to die with you when the time comes." I state, as firmly as I can. "Because there isn't life in me without you. I'll die beside you and meet you as children again in our next life together."
It's a bold statement. A final one. A forever one.
"But I won't mention it again, not until the time comes." I kiss him, not deeply, but firmly.
I let go of him finally, so that I can shimmy back a bit on the bed. I gesture for him to join me, because I need him to stay close to me. Because I think he needs to be close to me.
Because I want to feel his heartbeat as strongly as I did back on that holiday he mentioned.
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