dinohouse | open to any Go-Busters players from any universe incl Mushverse, ogods what am I doing

I look up when they leave the room, manage to get my face into some semblance of order, and even nod at the commander's orders. Hell, I even manage a pathetic excuse for a salute. It's better than nothing.

But as soon as he's gone, I look at Hiromu for only a second before I dissolve.

I'm not crying.

Yet.

"I don't think it's really him, though, Hiromu, I really don't." I whimper at last.

Eti looks like hell, and I'm about to observe that with some alarm when he loses it.

I tchh, and wrap my arms around him. I know how to do this, at least. People are hard. Upset is hard. Hugging is easy.

He's incredibly tense.

"Why?" I ask softly.

"It's just wrong. He's so... wrong."

It's hard to put into words. What do I know about my brother, really? Who am I to decide how he should or shouldn't be after thirteen years, never mind the hellish thirteen years he and I actually got, on either side of a drastic divide.

"The way he moves, and the way he thinks. The way he talks, it's like he's more machine than anything else. He's..."

I hesitate. I don't think Hiromu will like what I have to say, but he did ask.

"He's so broken. Is it possible? For a person to be broken beyond fixing?"

I flinch at his last words. "No. No, it's not," I say firmly, more because I want it to be true than because I know it is.

Wanting can make it happen.

"Everyone has scars, Eti," I say softly. "His are deeper than most people's. But we can still help him."

"How?" I ask finally. "How do we help him when he so obviously doesn't want it?"

Unless he's lying. Would my brother lie to me? To Hiromu?

Does he want to be saved?

"I'm so tired, Hiromu."

Edited 2012-11-15 16:07 (UTC)

"We just keep trying," I say, shrugging. "I wish I had better answers, but that's all I know. We just keep trying. We don't give up."

............I cup his cheek briefly. "Why don't you go and sleep, Eti?" I ask, voice gentle. "I can stay here."

I turn to look at him when his hand touches my cheek, and I smirk weakly.

"You're going to go back in there, aren't you?"

I nod. "Not immediately. I'll give him a chance to cool off, first."

And also give myself a chance to check that you're actually all right. Because you matter, too.

I snort a bit at that. "You think he's going to?"

I shake my head and shift towards standing. He's right. I need some quiet to put my head in the right place again.

"Hiromu? Don't... Just, don't go alone, okay?"

I grin. "It's possible."

He stands, but he still looks shaky and pale. I blink at his comment. "Who exactly would you suggest I take with me? I'll be careful, Eti, but I can't make him trust me if I don't show him some trust."

I wince at his determination and hold up a hand to ward him off. He's so damn sure of this.

"He already doesn't trust you, Hiromu, how much more do you think you can damage that?" I shrug over his query as to who, though. "I don't know, Nick, or Takosawa or... somebody."

"He's here. I think he trusts a little, on some level," I say quietly. I hope he does. "Ah, do you think Takosawa would cope? I don't want to upset him, but he's a good idea. He might reach Emi."

Nick's an excellent backup, but Takosawa has the history with Emi.

I shake my head and give him what's probably a pretty condescending look.

I'm worried about him. More so even than my brother, I think. I'd never tell him, of course, I doubt he'd take it well.

I'm worried what will happen to him if he fails in this quest of his.

"I can't guarantee Takosawa would be any more persuasive towards him than... say, I would. But at least you'd have back-up, if... Well, if he overreacts."

I nod. "Yes. I'll ask him, then."

I don't expect to 'reach' Emi. Not to that extent. But if being there will help, if he'll start to get it through his head that I'm not going away just because he snarls at me now and then, then I'm more than willing to do it.

"Bon chance," I say softly, rubbing both hands over my face wearily and then turning in the general direction of my room. "He's probably down with the engineers."

I pause, and look back at him. "Just be careful."

He doesn't think I can do it. Doesn't think I can reach Emi at all.

It's not easy, no, but it's also not simple. I know I won't get Emi to come out of there, suddenly untraumatised, unscarred, ready to return to us as soon as we rescue his body.

Any progress I can make will do. "I will," I say quietly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "You should go rest, okay?"

Of course I don't think he can succeed.

I can't think he can succeed. I can't think about trying to reverse years of mourning and pain, trying to adjust to having him around again, having him so drastically changed...

It's selfish, maybe, but I've been anything but for the better part of thirteen years.

"I'm going." I smirk at him and head off towards my room. For better or worse.

I give him an affectionate salute, and head off the other way in search of Takosawa. I'm not looking forward to the flailing when I explain this, but he has a right to know anyway.

It's been a while since they all left. I expected Hiromu to return sooner, but I suppose my brother put a stop to that.

Good.

Of course, it wasn't bound to last. I sit up on the bed, not wanting to be caught off guard if it should be Kuroki coming to interrogate me.

I go in first, though I've got no doubt whatsoever that Emi won't attack Takosawa.

"Brought a friend to say hi to you," I say casually to Emi.

"I have no friends, Hiromu, I have told you--"

Takosawa. I scowl at him, and I'm fairly certain he's scowling back at me, such as he can.

"What is your intent, Hiromu. We have already established I cannot leave."

"To speak with you a little more privately," I say calmly. Takosawa's not exactly as happy about this as he could be, but there's not a lot I can do about it.

"You mean without my brother here." I raise an eyebrow at Takosawa, who huffs spectacularly.

"You understand that he will relate any and everything we say to him at a later time, oui?"

I nod swiftly. "Oh, I do. And that's fine. I'm not about to say anything that I wouldn't want him to hear anyway. But he's finding this really... really hard, and I don't want him to have to be here every time we talk."

"And you do not find it hard?"

I doubt that. But he is quite foolish.

"You say that as if any talk we have will not follow the same lines over and over again."

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