dinohouse | Enter Free For All [any universe, any version, just let me know, noisy muse is noisy, etc.~]

Kanji orders enough food for a small army. Or at least half the Investigation Team. We can't possibly finish all that... then again, he does have quite an appetite.

I blink at him, not having realized he was looking at me, and then shrug slightly, tugging my hat down a bit.

"I'm enjoying your company."

"Oh. O-oh!"

Fuck, I think my face is fuckin' burning off too. Damn it. Why am I like this around him? He's not any different than Yu-sempai, anyway. Or Yousuke-sempai. Or any of the girls.

Well, fuck that mental path, damn it. I shake my head to try to clear it but it just jumbles everything up even worse.

"Um, thanks." I manage to get that much out. "I'm enjoying yours... too..."

They call my order and I practically lunge at the counter to get it. Just to give Naoto some breathing room for a second.

Me too.

What is wrong with me today? Why am I being so open and honest with my thoughts and feelings? I'm just upsetting Kanji, making him feel uncomfortable.

I've never seen his face so red.

Deep breath, Naoto, deep calming breath. Slow exhale.

"Would you like me to help carry some of that?" I ask as we leave Aiya, a little worried that Kanji might drop some of the food.

I blink down at Naoto from around the food and have a silent moment of internal panic over the right answer to this question.

Like, I can handle it, I'm plenty strong and have a pretty decent sense of balance. But I don't want him to think that I'm like... saying something about... him, by saying no.

Ah, fuck it.

"It's alright, it's not far." I head in the direction of home, and grin at him so hopefully he won't take it the wrong way.

I waver. Does he think I can't handle helping? Is he trying to be a man and impress his female bodied friend? Is he simply trying to bolster his own pride?

Is he as confused as I am about the implications inherent in such a situation?

He's simply being Kanji, awkward and open and adorable Kanji.

I nod at his answer, finally, and stuff my hands in my pockets. I square my shoulders, and widen my stride, and try to express a strong, masculine vibe.

Overcompensation, yes. But sometimes it is necessary.

He totally changes the way he's walking suddenly and I definitely know I made the wrong choice.

Damn it.

Still, it really isn't that far to our shop and use my foot to slide open the back door the way I've done since I was a kid.

"Ma! I brought dinner! And a f-friend!"

Fuck.

I set the food down on our table as carefully as I can manage, and mumble rapidly towards the floor as I do so, before my ma shows up.

"Hey, Naoto-kun, I didn't mean nothin' by carrying everything myself, you know? I don't, definitely don't think about you... that way, I just wanted you to know that."

Ma comes in and she's got this fuckin' grin on her face that makes me scowl.

"Hey, ma. You 'member Shirogane Naoto-kun? The, uh, the detective from that one time?"

Kanji shouts for his mother once we're inside, and then turns to me, looking serious and conflicted.

At his apology I blush - I've been doing that a lot today, it seems - and nod, looking anywhere but where I want to. Which is at his eyes.

I clear my throat. "It's okay. Just... it's hard. Sometimes. Um. Most of the time."

We're interrupted by the arrival of Kanji's mother, and I bow low in polite greeting. "It's a pleasure to see you well, Tatsumi-san. I hope I am not intruding by stopping by without notice."

"Yeah, I get that. I mean, I still get every cop lookin' at me twice out the sides of their eyes like I'm gonna go on a rampage or something." I know it's not entirely the same thing, but still.

Ma is practically ecstatic and compliments Naoto like eighteen ways from Sunday, which I think is a little overkill and I tell her to cut it out and eat already. Which just gets me that same condescending pat on my shoulder that she always give me as she crosses the room to get some dishes and chopsticks and stuff. Which is fine.

"Sorry, she's kinda... overbearing sometimes."

"You are very lucky to have a mother that cares so much." I tell him quietly. And maybe a little sadly.

She loves and cares for him, no matter how he looks, or what he wears, or what he chooses to be.

Sometimes I wonder if my own mother would have... best not to think about that.

"Here," I move to Tatsumi-san's side, and reach to grab the plates for her, even though I have to tiptoe. "Let me help you set the table."

Man, is that a fuckin' loaded statement or what. I mean, yeah, I love my ma and I know I'm lucky to have her... to still have her, after what happened to my dad. But like. Naoto lost both of his parents, but his grand dad did pretty good raising him and... fuckin' shit.

"Thanks." That's not a bad response, right?

Naoto offers to help ma set the table and I hide a smile in upacking the food. At least ma stopped talking about how she 'doesn't care what the officers say, no offense Shirogane-kun, no offense meant of course, but my Kanji is nothing like they think he is'.

I chuckle softly, glancing at Kanji, unable to hide my fond smile. "No offence taken, Tatsumi-san. I'm not technically with the police, yet, and also I've grown to know Kanji, and he's a good person. A good man."

Stop blushing, stop blushing, stop blushing...

I help Kanji's mother set the table, and then wait while Kanji lays out the food before I sit.

"This is nice." I say suddenly, without thinking. "My grandfather doesn't usually come home until late, so I don't get many family meals."

Is Naoto... blushing?

Well, shit, so am I, but I can maybe pass it off as... bein'... warm... from the steam of the food! Of course.

I decide to ignore it. Not that I was gonna bring it up or nothin' but whatever, my ma's probably just embarrassing him.

Ma tells him this is hardly a 'family meal' because it's not home cooked and I shoot her a hiss. "Ma, come on, you can't cook for shit anyway."

Of course ma doesn't take offense, I don't think she even hears half of what I say, she just laughs fondly and compliment's the chef at Aiya and moves on.

"You live with your grandfather? Here in Inaba? I'm not sure I've ever met another Shirogane."

"Ma, you're bein' nosy."

I laugh softly, and as politely as I can. "My grandfather can't cook either. This would probably be the sort of family meal we'd have, were we to have them."

I begin eating, nodding my agreement at the compliment to the chef. When I'm address again I set my chopsticks down and swallow before speaking.

"Not usually. We're here on business at the moment." I glance at Kanji, still trying not to blush every time I look at him. "I don't mind. It wasn't that prying of a question."

"It's nice to sit down and eat together even if it is someone else's food." I mumble, behind my hand and chopsticks with my mouth full.

Ma admonishes me and I glower at her but swallow before continuing.

"Still it's not like you gotta tell her your whole life story."

The meal finishes peacefully enough, and I mostly listen to Kanji and his mother talk about their day. Or, Kanji's mother talks about hers, and he gruffly supplies snips of information about his.

It's not unlike mine and my grandfather's conversations, only I am usually the one to be more... forthcoming.

After dinner Kanji's mother ushers us off to his room, saying something about how it's so nice that Kanji has such a nice young man for a friend. I blush at that, but I'm grateful she doesn't know... hn.

I could just about kill ma when she more or less shoves us together and straight into my room.

I don't want Naoto-kun to see my room. I don't want any of my friends to see my room, even if they do know pretty much all there is to know about me. Guy's gotta keep some things private, doesn't he?

Like the fact that my school books gain about as much respect as my futon does, which is to say shoved up against one wall and out of the way as long as I'm not using them.

Most of my room is dedicate to my... crafting. I hate that word, it sounds so dumb, but there ain't any other word for it, so fuck it. My crafting, then. A bunch of tables at all different heights including one with a proper chair and shit, 'cause leaning down over a sketch gets hard on my back. There's doodles all over that desk, plans and patterns and stuff. I've got one of ma's old sewing machines set up on another, and another has different products at various stages of completion. Half-stuffed bodies and detached heads and rolling eyes and everything.

And just about everywhere else that isn't obviously a work space is covered in mats and tools. Yarn, fabric, spools of thread, needles of both the knitting and sewing variety, hooks for crochet and hooks for embroidery and...

"It's kind of a mess." I admit, trying not to sound too embarrassed.

Edited 2012-11-28 07:08 (UTC)

Kanji's room is almost startling at first. I half expected it to be covered in crooked posters from hard rock bands and vague unintelligible English phrases.

After the initial startle though it makes me smile. It's actually perfect. It reminds me a little of my own room. Not that I sew, or knit, of craft. But my room is a testament to my work, to my own craft. Covered in cork boards with case studies and witness reports and crime scene photos pinned to them. Shelves for manuals, a locked file cabinet for the more sensitive materials and notes, a entire wall dedicated to detective novels...

I glance around, then turn to smile at Kanji, warm and open, as warm and open as I can be anyway. "I like your room."

Well, he isn't running and screaming, so I guess it's not that bad.

Hey, what do you know, he's smiling at me.

I smile back, if somewhat awkwardly. "Hey, thanks. Um, it's not... Well, do you wanna sit?" I cross the room, kick some skeins of yarn away and pull my chair out from my drawing desk.

"Oh, you don't have to go to any tr-." But then he is before I can even finish my sentence, knocking yarn away and tugging his chair out from his desk.

I smile again, my cheeks feeling slightly warm, and nod my thanks as I take the offered seat.

"How have things been in Inaba?"

Naoto sits down, which is good, since I went to the trouble and all.

Not that it woulda mattered if he hadn't, I don't really care, I just figured he'd be more comfortable, is all.

I crouch down, elbows over my knees, and shrug a bit. "Quiet, mostly. I mean, until today."

"So then would it safe for me to assume that the event that transpired today was an isolated incident, and not a part of a reoccurring phenomenon?"

There I go again, slipping right into work mode. But I have to know what we're up against.

Shadows don't come out of the Television world. If they have begun doing so, then the entire world might be in very grave danger.

I nod along while he speaks, then pause when I realize he's not just talking but actually asking me a question.

Then I realize I have absolutely no idea what he asked.

Might as well be honest.

"Uh. What?"

He doesn't follow my words, and I can't blame him. I'm fairly certain not a single one of my peers would have followed the entirety of that sentence.

I've spent too long lost in police reports and detective novels. I really need to remember that not everyone has my vocabulary, nor should they.

To be fair, Kanji could probably ramble on about yarn related crafts and I wouldn't understand a single word of what he was talking about.

"You're so cute." I blurt out suddenly. Then nearly bite my tongue in half. Why on earth would I say that aloud!?

"I- uh. I-I mean..." My cheeks are burning, and I reach up to tug my hat down slightly. "What I mean is, was that the first attack like that th-that's happened in Inaba? Or have these things b-been happening for a while?"

Judging by the look on his face, I figure if it were anyone but Naoto-kun they'd start teasing me for being slow. Big dumb Kanji, mostly he's just fit for hittin' stuff.

But it's Naoto-kun, so I know he ain't gonna tease me, he'll just try to dumb it down for me a little.

Only instead he calls me cute.

My hands had gone for a project all of their own accord while we were talking, and the doll falls out of my hands with it's head only half sewn on, stuffing spilling out of it's neck.

I think my face is gonna burn off. Naoto hides his eyes and I look away, towards anything else, the wall, or my futon-

Fuck, no, not my futon.

The wall, then.

"Uh, n-no." His stammering ain't any worse than mine is. "I mean, there's a-always weird shit goin' on but n-nothing like that freaky guy." I try to keep the conversation going without addressing the cute comment.

Not that I ain't curious, but I can tell it made Naoto uncomfortable to say it and I ain't about to harp on it like some of our friends probably would.

"You don't think he was some kinda Shadow or somethin', do ya? Or maybe he was like, somethin' like what happened with that fuckin' cop? You don't think-" I pause and take a steadying breath, hoping enough time has passed to let the awkward go, 'cause I kinda gotta look at Naoto right now. "You don't think Izanami came back already, do ya?"

I pay attention sometimes. It ain't all just hittin' stuff.

Awkward, stammered moments pass between us, as we each pretend that outburst of mine did not happen.

Not that it was untrue. Kanji is cute, I have considered this about him before, weighed his features in comparison to the others of my age I associate with. Well, the male companions I keep, I've learned as I've grown that I don't find much personal enjoyment in looking at members of the opposite sex.

Opposite gender? That's probably more accurate. From what little I've read on my physical and mental situation.

But I digress, Kanji is attractive. I never thought a ruffian would be my type, but he's has a gentler side. His eyes are pleasant to look at, when I can bring myself to, and he's tall, strong, well proportioned...

I am not making this situation any easier on myself.

"I wouldn't rule out the possibility." I finally say, once I am able to look at him again, and him me. "Though it is probably too early to make that sort of call. It would be worth looking into though."

"Have you stayed close to the other members of the Investigation Team? I speak to Yu-senpai and Rise-chan sometimes, when they're not too busy, and Yosuke-senpai texts me at least five times a day with random inane babble." I try not to laugh at this, but I'm afraid my smile gives away my amusement.

"Are you dating anyone?"

...My eyes go wide, and I find myself clamping down on my tongue again.

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