Mushball universe, anyone who'd like to talk to Jou

[yellowlion]

I sit on the grass in our rear yard, legs crossed, and try to let myself sink into a meditative state. I don't do this very often. It's usually helpful, when I do.

I had the oddest feeling when I first met Joe, that I'd met him before. That this was meant to happen, in some way. Except he should've been wearing a blue leather jacket, and he was in tears, in my lab. Not a shy, troubled schoolkid convinced everything was his fault.

I pushed it aside as a stupid dream. When you have weird-ass dreams all the time anyway it's only too easy to assign meaning to them later.

But now? Now I'm beginning to wonder.

Comments

[bluedolphin]

"I do, but Joe ... Joe was the one who had the most trouble adjusting. He'd been rejected by so many families, I wanted him to be happy here. And he was doing so well, but now ..." I bite down on my lower lip and breathe deeply. I seem to have a near-infinite supply of tears.

[yellowlion]

I dig a handkerchief out of a pocket and hand it to her. "Yeah," I say softly, wrapping both arms around her loosely enough that she can actually use the handkerchief. "Yeah, it's one knock after another."

[bluedolphin]

Despite my initial attempts to stay calm it only takes a second before I'm sobbing away into the handkerchief. At the back of my mind I'm still thinking about dinner (Joe's favourite) and wanting to look presentable when the boys get home. I'll take care of it. I will.

[yellowlion]

I sigh sadly, and keep rubbing her back. I kiss the top of her hair, and just keep holding her.

Nothing much else I can do. We're so powerless.

[bluedolphin]

I continue wailing until I run out of liquid. It takes me a minute or two to recover my senses, but then I look at my watch, "when will they get home?"

[yellowlion]

She calms eventually, but still sounds miserable. I look at mine. "Another thirty or forty minutes, I think," I say softly. "I want to tell the other kids. But not before warning Joe."

[bluedolphin]

I push back my hair and wipe at my eyes, "I need to clean myself up. Don't want to upset them even more ..." I've already made Jou feel worse than he did when I came out here, "... sorry."

[yellowlion]

I pfft at her. "Oh, c'mon, you're beautiful. You don't need to do anything." The evidence of tears will dry before the boys see her anyway, and she is genuinely beautiful, with or without makeup and so on. Always has been.

I shake my head, and lean into her for a moment. "I'm okay," I lie. "Distracting myself by trying to figure out what I've forgotten."

[bluedolphin]

"No I'm not," I give him a playful push, "don't want to be the red-eyed monster. At least not till after dinner." If they don't eat they'll be grumpy later. I don't want any more incidents involving the litter tray.

"... Forgotten?"

[yellowlion]

I yelp and pretend to flail. Not that she couldn't make me genuinely flail if she wanted. She hits *hard*.

"You're still beautiful then, as well," I say firmly, though I'm shuddering a little at the memory of a certain Litter Tray Incident.

"Yeah." I scratch my head. "Yuusuke got pissy at me about the paperwork, and I got to thinking. There are things that don't add up, and we know that already, but... but I think I met Joe before."

[bluedolphin]

"Before ..." Something's nagging at the back of my mind. I close my eyes and faintly hear an echo of Joe telling me about a visit to his lab, "I ... think you might be right."

[yellowlion]

My eyebrows shoot up, and I grip her by the shoulder excitedly. "Tell me. Please." What has she remembered?

[bluedolphin]

"I came to see you, and we were talking about adopting a brother or sister for Katsumi, and then you said ..." I frown. What was it, "a sailor? Pirate?"

[yellowlion]

I puff out my cheeks and exhale, leaning back, staring at her. "I'd stayed in my lab too long and you were far too polite to me about it," I say slowly. There are gaps, so many gaps, but she's helping. "A pirate. I think."

[bluedolphin]

"Yes, a pirate. You said Yuusuke was angry with them. Was it because they're pirates or ..." I think. It's not quite coming back, "did he know them? Do we know them?"

[yellowlion]

I'm on my knees now, peering at her excitedly. "There. Um. There was a group. Visiting different teams. Yuusuke wasn't impressed, no..."

[bluedolphin]

"Why were they visiting?" I can't think of anything they would want. Trophies? Weapons? "There was a ... A queen of a planet? But you didn't talk about her very much. Just the pirate."

[yellowlion]

I blink, let my eyes lose focus, and stare into the distance. "She wore pink. She was... she was part of his team."

I look back at Megumi. "They wanted information? But it was mostly the one in blue, yeah. Information, and my -- our -- good opinion. Our approval."

[bluedolphin]

"But why? They're pirates." None of this makes any sense. I down the last of my now-cold tea in frustration, "I think I remember you mentioning the blue one. You said ..."

There's a flash of unexpected clarity, like in cartoons when a lightbulb goes on above someone's head, "it's Joe. Has to be. You laughed at the name because it sounds like Jou."

[yellowlion]

I swallow, then abruptly scrub a hand through my hair. "We ran to help the same baby, and his friend called out, 'Joe-san', and I responded."

[bluedolphin]

I nod, "That's him, then. Our little Joe ..."

Fresh tears arrive at the thought of that. I still don't know how Joe came to us, but it all seems so cruel for someone to go to that length only to snatch him from us when we'd grown to love him.

[yellowlion]

I slump, shaking my head. It seems so unbelievable. "That's him. I remember thinking how much I'd like to give the poor kid a home if he ever needed one."

[bluedolphin]

"But why?" I murmur, without even noticing I've begun viciously pulling up the grass, "why bring him to us only to take him away? And why can't we remember?" My breath hitches painfully in my chest before I can say any more.

[yellowlion]

"To make sure he had people to look after him?" I ask doubtfully. "We've been used, maybe..."

But even if that's true, I can't say I'd be too angry about it. It's been *good*, having him.

I shake my head. "Maybe one of the Captain's friends."

[bluedolphin]

"Maybe." I sniffle and scrub a hand across the back of my eyes. No matter what Joe decides, I'll always be proud I was his mother, even if it wasn't for long.

I'm not aware of a pitiful murmur of "... my baby ..." escaping my mouth until it's already said.