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I sit on the grass in our rear yard, legs crossed, and try to let myself sink into a meditative state. I don't do this very often. It's usually helpful, when I do.
I had the oddest feeling when I first met Joe, that I'd met him before. That this was meant to happen, in some way. Except he should've been wearing a blue leather jacket, and he was in tears, in my lab. Not a shy, troubled schoolkid convinced everything was his fault.
I pushed it aside as a stupid dream. When you have weird-ass dreams all the time anyway it's only too easy to assign meaning to them later.
But now? Now I'm beginning to wonder.
I had the oddest feeling when I first met Joe, that I'd met him before. That this was meant to happen, in some way. Except he should've been wearing a blue leather jacket, and he was in tears, in my lab. Not a shy, troubled schoolkid convinced everything was his fault.
I pushed it aside as a stupid dream. When you have weird-ass dreams all the time anyway it's only too easy to assign meaning to them later.
But now? Now I'm beginning to wonder.
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Date: 2012-04-16 09:21 am (UTC)It doesn't make me feel any better.
I know it's wrong to favour one kid above the others. I love Katsumi and Kazari, but Joe's always been my "baby", the one I most felt like I had to protect. I was resigned to him leaving home soon for university, but that's a bit different from vanishing into space with a crew of aliens. While it's a shock to find out that he's older than we thought, and not human, I love him. He's still my little boy.
What will I ever do without him?
I'll go and bring Jou a cup of tea. Jou understands.
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Date: 2012-04-16 09:33 am (UTC)I mutter grimly under my breath, straighten my legs, and consider doing a forward roll down the little hill, for the hell of it.
I'm thirsty. Maybe I'll go make a cup of-
I beam up at Megumi. How does she always *know*?
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Date: 2012-04-16 09:44 am (UTC)"How's things?"
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Date: 2012-04-16 09:49 am (UTC)She looks devastated. "Sit? Thank you so much, Megumi."
Um. "Not great," I admit.
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Date: 2012-04-16 09:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-16 10:04 am (UTC)I sigh, and take a steadying sip. "Complicated, isn't it. I- I really hope he doesn't leave."
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Date: 2012-04-16 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-16 10:16 am (UTC)"He would be. If he goes. He'd find a way." I put the tea down, scoot closer, and put my arm around her. "You're mothering a good kid."
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Date: 2012-04-16 10:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-04-16 12:58 pm (UTC)Kazari doesn't know anything either, which is about the only saving grace in this whole situation. I want to know what's going on, damn it, and catching Jou by himself might be my only chance.
"Alright," I say, standing in front of him with my arms crossed across my chest. "Spill. What's going on?"
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Date: 2012-04-16 01:08 pm (UTC)I yelp and sprawl backwards on the grass. "I have to get you a little bell so I can hear you coming," I say ruefully. I'm not expecting him to be completely distracted from his question, but I need a few seconds, because shit.
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Date: 2012-04-16 01:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-16 01:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-16 01:19 pm (UTC)And if Kazari won't make an issue of it, I will.
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Date: 2012-04-16 01:44 pm (UTC)I sigh. "I want to tell you guys the basics, though."
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Date: 2012-04-16 01:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-16 01:59 pm (UTC)"I'm here, if you were waiting for both of us." I announce, just in case they missed it. Then I frown down at Jou. "Who was he? That kind of desire is superhuman. He left the whole house just dripping in it."
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Date: 2012-04-17 12:10 pm (UTC)But I'm not sure if I can handle another round of 'think about it carefully' and 'it's your decision' and 'we love you and support whatever you decide'. I don't want to decide anything. Even if I'm not actually a high school kid, I still feel like one. I wasn't even ready to start making decisions about what I wanted to study at university, much less seriously life-altering decisions like 'stay at home with your loving parents or go back to being a pirate'.
But I think everyone involved would have a heart attack if I just disappeared onto the moon forever, so I drag myself home.
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Date: 2012-04-17 12:14 pm (UTC)There's a sound, and I blink lazily, turning. I break into a smile, though it'd be hard not to see the worry in my eyes. "Joe."
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Date: 2012-04-17 12:20 pm (UTC)I cross the yard to sit beside him. "Your fake smile is so obvious."
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Date: 2012-04-17 12:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-17 12:30 pm (UTC)Screw that. I need my parents right now. Even if it is all a dream.
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Date: 2012-04-17 12:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-17 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-17 02:13 pm (UTC)"I don't want you to go," I admit softly, reluctantly, into his hair. "In case you didn't know already."
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