Soft movement, echoing off the insides of my skull. He's moving closer. Why is he moving closer? Doesn't he know I'm bad for him? Doesn't he know I will only, always, hurt him?
I whimper when he touches me, curling closer to the wall. But I don't want to detach from his touch, don't want to move too far away from his comfort.
I am so selfish. I want him to be there for me, even after I have hurt him so deeply.
I almost... "Oh god."
I almost hurt him more than I could ever take back. I almost...
Rape. That's the word. If I am honest with myself. Though it makes me want to throw up. Makes me want to take the nearest knife and carve my own heart out.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-09-30 03:13 am (UTC)I whimper when he touches me, curling closer to the wall. But I don't want to detach from his touch, don't want to move too far away from his comfort.
I am so selfish. I want him to be there for me, even after I have hurt him so deeply.
I almost... "Oh god."
I almost hurt him more than I could ever take back. I almost...
Rape. That's the word. If I am honest with myself. Though it makes me want to throw up. Makes me want to take the nearest knife and carve my own heart out.