I lean into him, my head tucked up under his chin, still trying to time my shallow breathes with his deeper ones. And mostly failing.
But I can heart his heartbeat, strong and steady. And powerful. As Powerful as his will.
Oh.
Oh that's what it always was with him.
I clutch at the bear he gave me, once he sets it safely in my arms. The room is spinning fiercely now, practically doing summersaults.
He didn't have passion, he didn't have desire.
He has will.
"Eiji, I love you." I murmur against him, then choke, because I have no right to say that to him, not after tonight. I shake my head, and try to pull away from him, try to move toward my pillow, where I can curl up and pretend...
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-10-28 07:17 am (UTC)But I can heart his heartbeat, strong and steady. And powerful. As Powerful as his will.
Oh.
Oh that's what it always was with him.
I clutch at the bear he gave me, once he sets it safely in my arms. The room is spinning fiercely now, practically doing summersaults.
He didn't have passion, he didn't have desire.
He has will.
"Eiji, I love you." I murmur against him, then choke, because I have no right to say that to him, not after tonight. I shake my head, and try to pull away from him, try to move toward my pillow, where I can curl up and pretend...
I don't even know.
Maybe just try and forget.