"Fight what? How can I fight anything. I'm not your doctor. I can't help you!" The pitch of my voice is rising sharply, so I stop, swallow for a moment and try to calm myself. Maybe that's the problem. He thinks I'm giving up on him too easily because I'm not suddenly filled with rage, "I'm disappointed you didn't tell me before. I hope you haven't avoided treatment you could have had sooner, but getting angry won't solve anything. What can I do? Nothing!"
I can feel my shoulders shaking, and that's when I look out at the view below; beautiful, certainly, but so much higher up than I realised. I clutch onto the wall with my free hand to steady myself. I'll be even less use to anyone if I plunge thirteen floors to my death. We could have stayed late, or gone to my room, or ... or wherever it is that he's staying. Only he would decide it was a good idea to come up here and lock ourselves in, how do you make that leap of logic?
Only he
He's still got hold of my fingers. I don't think I can respond the way Date-san wants me to but I know, all over again, that I don't want him to go anywhere. Not yet, "I'm not going to give up on you, sempai. I don't know what's going to happen, but I won't let you go that easily. I promise that much."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-09-30 09:07 pm (UTC)I can feel my shoulders shaking, and that's when I look out at the view below; beautiful, certainly, but so much higher up than I realised. I clutch onto the wall with my free hand to steady myself. I'll be even less use to anyone if I plunge thirteen floors to my death. We could have stayed late, or gone to my room, or ... or wherever it is that he's staying. Only he would decide it was a good idea to come up here and lock ourselves in, how do you make that leap of logic?
Only he
He's still got hold of my fingers. I don't think I can respond the way Date-san wants me to but I know, all over again, that I don't want him to go anywhere. Not yet, "I'm not going to give up on you, sempai. I don't know what's going to happen, but I won't let you go that easily. I promise that much."