Naoto makes the cutest little squeaking sound when I pick him up, and I don't think it's unmanly at all. It's just kind of adorable, and especially because of the way it makes me feel. Like I did something right, like I made the right decision anyway, despite my indecision and my fear.
Yeah, fear. I'll admit it, in my own head at least, that I'm scared shitless at the idea of... Well. As if everyone doesn't know already, most all of my friends anyway. Of being rejected. Sure I am! And it's all the worse with Naoto, knowing that he maybe don't know that about me.
Not that I want him to stick around out of pity or some sense of obligation or whatever.
Anyway, I'm able to breathe like this, and he's pretty light and I'm plenty strong, but still, after a while I figure maybe we should talk about this, so I lean down really careful like, so that Naoto's feet get on the floor properly again, and then I straighten with a little gasp and heavy eyelids.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-04-20 07:57 am (UTC)Yeah, fear. I'll admit it, in my own head at least, that I'm scared shitless at the idea of... Well. As if everyone doesn't know already, most all of my friends anyway. Of being rejected. Sure I am! And it's all the worse with Naoto, knowing that he maybe don't know that about me.
Not that I want him to stick around out of pity or some sense of obligation or whatever.
Anyway, I'm able to breathe like this, and he's pretty light and I'm plenty strong, but still, after a while I figure maybe we should talk about this, so I lean down really careful like, so that Naoto's feet get on the floor properly again, and then I straighten with a little gasp and heavy eyelids.
"Wow."