I shouldn't be leaning against him, I don't deserve his support. I can't help it though, I can barely stay steady with his help, my legs are limp and wobbly, and I can't see even close to straight.
He guides me to the bathroom before I finally launch off him, crashing to the floor, my knees cracking painfully, and then I'm retching into the toilet. There's hardly anything solid in me, but it feels like my stomach is turning itself inside out and trying to vacate my chest.
I'm shaking once I'm done, clinging to anything I can reach. I want to dissolve into a puddle of self hate on the floor. Eiji should just leave me here. He should go to bed and forget all about me. I could be gone by the morning, never bother him, never hurt him, ever again...
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-10-01 06:46 am (UTC)He guides me to the bathroom before I finally launch off him, crashing to the floor, my knees cracking painfully, and then I'm retching into the toilet. There's hardly anything solid in me, but it feels like my stomach is turning itself inside out and trying to vacate my chest.
I'm shaking once I'm done, clinging to anything I can reach. I want to dissolve into a puddle of self hate on the floor. Eiji should just leave me here. He should go to bed and forget all about me. I could be gone by the morning, never bother him, never hurt him, ever again...