[Mushverse: open to Shinkengers, particularly seeking Kaoru~]

[nonsamurai]

The Princess is still staying at the house, I'm not entirely sure why, but it's left me feeling decidedly unwelcome.

Not anything she's done, of course. If my (admittedly not entirely appropriate) dreams are anything to go on, I doubt she's capable of making anyone feel like that.

Okay, I know that dreams are just dreams, and she's been in mine an excessive amount lately, considering I've just met her, hardly spoken to her, and have spent approximately 95% of her time here outside in the gardens.

It's not her, though. And it's not her kuroko either, they're just as respectful and kind as the group I'm getting used to, though her's are a lot more straight laced, so to speak, and absolutely refuse to let me help out with things they're doing the way our kuroko do.

...Our kuroko, as if I am anywhere near a samurai, or even a proper member of the household. I'm more and more aware every day that I'm still just kind of a long-term guest in the house. Accepted as family, sort of, but I can tell nearly everyone thinks of me as a civilian, which I guess is exactly what I am.

But I don't want to be a burden, and I definitely don't like getting serious glares from that Tanba guy every time I come around a corner, so the gardens it is.

Comments

[samuraihime]

He makes a comment about Tanba and I find myself nodding in understanding. Tanba means well, something that I am very much aware of, but he doesn't quite understand when it's proper to take a step back and let a situation play on without his involvement. I can only imagine that Umemori-kun's presence in the household is driving him to less-than-hospitable measures.

I bite back an apology on his behalf and turn my attention back to the garden instead. "Bee balm?" I ask curiously. I cannot help but admit that the thought of a collection of tea specific to the Shiba gardens appeals to me. "Interesting. I can't speak for my son, of course, but I think having a tea garden would be lovely."

[nonsamurai]

I don't even notice her hesitation, I'm too caught up in the garden around me and the memory of the gardens back...

Not home. This is home, damn it, whether Tanba or anyone else thinks otherwise.

Back in America, then, and let that be all it is.

"That's what they call it. It has other names, but that's the one that stuck for me, because the honey bees loved it so much." I smile at her and then duck my head, trying to divert attention from what I'm sure is the beginnings of a blush. "I guess I'm supposed to ask before I make any drastic changes, but Jii-san seemed okay with everything I've done so far."

[samuraihime]

He looks far for a moment, as if he isn't quite here. If I must guess, I would say it looks like he's caught in a memory of some sort. I wonder if it is of his old garden, then, or of something else.

I smile as I stand, brushing loose dirt and grass from my knees before I straighten fully. "I am sure Jii is more than grateful for any help you can give him around the compound."

And if he is not, then I shall see what strings I can pull to make it so he is.

[nonsamurai]

That sounds like a compliment, but it's kind and delivered easily enough that I manage not to blush too much when I look up at her. "You think so?"

I laugh and roll to my feet, brushing off my own knees and then stretching, arms crossed behind my head.

"I'll ask, then. If any of it takes properly, I'll make sure you know when we harvest."

[samuraihime]

"I would enjoy that," I say pleasantly, continuing my smile.

It feels good to smile like this. Despite the lack of battle recently, it feels like I have not been smiling as much as I could be. Perhaps returning to the estate was a more beneficial idea than I had first thought.

Still, I was looking for something to occupy my time, and it seems like this conversation has reached its natural end. Either I need to continue it, perhaps on another subject, or go about my way.

After another glimpse of Umemori-kun's happy face, I can't help but search for another topic to discuss.

"What else do you do here to occupy your time, Umemori-kun?" I venture carefully, hoping not to offend. "Or do you mainly spend your time in the gardens?"

[nonsamurai]

I'm half expecting her to excuse herself and leave. She's so much like Takeru-san, and when a conversation comes to a natural closing point, he generally leaves once his point has been made. Unless he needs to change the topic, in which case he initiates the change, but I've only ever seen him do that with the other samurai. Not me, for example.

But there she goes, inquiring about me no less. I smirk a little sheepishly and duck my head.

"Well, that's a bit of a complicated question, Princess, if you'll excuse me saying so. I spend a lot of time outside here, working with the plants, because I'm not exactly necessary anywhere else." I shrug one shoulder. "I'm not really necessary out here, either, don't take that to mean that the kuroko aren't living up to their duties. They certainly are. To a man. Or a woman, I suppose. They won't even let me help with the simple things, like shopping."

[samuraihime]

My smile falters a bit as he speaks. Yes, perhaps he isn't allowed much free reign around the household, and that's to be expected.

"I believe I told you once, Umemori-kun," I say slowly, looking away so as to not intimidate him too terribly. "That your life is now your own to decide. Have you yet to find a direction for the life that is now yours?"

[nonsamurai]

I made her stop smiling, and I feel bad about that. Of course, she's already told me that I need to try and think about myself, what I'm going to do with my life as an adult.

She doesn't really think I belong here any more than niichan does.

I guess I probably don't. I'm no samurai. I can't use their fancy kanji magic, Mojikara or whatever it's called, even though my handwriting is probably miles better than my brother's.

"I guess I haven't. I'm not sure if I'm ready. I don't want to leave, the only family I have is here, but... I don't really belong here, do I?" I shoot her a slightly self-deprecating little grin. "It's time for me to start thinking about a career, isn't it? I can't hide in the Shiba gardens for the rest of my life."

[samuraihime]

The corner of my mouth quirks downward, just a bit more, and my hand starts reaching towards my sleeve and the fan I keep there. For a brief moment I wonder how many times I will be tempted to hit Umemori-kun in order to make a simple point.

"If this is where you want to belong, Umemori-kun," I say, a touch more strictly than I intended. "Then it is something you will need to work for. There is nothing wrong with that, but you must be aware of what your goals are, and what needs done in order to accomplish them."

[nonsamurai]

I need to stop saying exactly what crosses my mind every moment, not when I'm talking to the Princess, anyway. She sees right through any feebleness in my arguments and gets right to the point as sharp as a sword.

Still, if I'm going to get myself into it, I might as well keep going. "All due respect, Princess, I think you underestimate my brother's force of will. He doesn't mind having me here as a civilian, but he refuses to entertain the thought of seeing me trained and fighting alongside you all. And I have a hard time thinking about defying him so openly." I grin, awkwardly. "But I love him. I want to stay here. I understand that I have to find my place, but it's hard to imagine ever integrating fully."

[samuraihime]

He talks of training, of fighting. And of his brother being protective and not allowing him to do these things.

Well, I believe I have already covered that aspect of the argument, at least.

"You wish to train, then? To fight?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Is that your chosen goal? Or are you simply attempting to emulate your brother's success?" It is not an accusatory question, but still a pointed one. I just wish to assess his reasoning behind this decision.

[nonsamurai]

I hook my thumbs in my belt loops and rock back on my heels, chuckling softly. "You seem pretty concerned about me, Princess. I appreciate it, I do. But I honestly don't know what my goal is yet. I want to stay here and be with my brother, but I don't feel like I'm welcome for the long term if I don't contribute something, but at the same time I'm not allowed to contribute anything."

[samuraihime]

My smile is long since gone, my mood fairly sour.

"My apologies, Umemori-kun," I say formally. "It is apparent that this course of questioning was unwelcome. I shall take my leave. Enjoy your time in the garden."

With a small nod, I turn and walk back towards the house, and my room. Perhaps there will be some new paperwork for me to busy myself with by now.