[Mushverse: for OOOs peoples mostly]

[catcameback]

I think I'm becoming more human.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Actually, I'm not even sure if that's possible.

Which is what has me sitting outside in my usual park, at the base of a tree instead of in it for once, turning my Switch over and over in my head, sometimes balancing it on it's point and seeing how long it can stand like that, and wondering...

It's been a while since I've used to last. Not since we found Joe.

I wonder if it's possible for it to stop working.

Comments

[keijisan]

"You told me they were 'relatively normal humans,'" I say, but I'm nodding my understanding.

"...it's hard, to feel like you can't do anything when people you care about are in danger."

[catcameback]

I blink. "Well, OOO, uh, Eiji, he's... relatively normal too, isn't he? They're still special. A lot of people in this town are... special, is all."

I run a hand through my hair and shrug. "I can do plenty. But I have to do it, that's all. To protect my pride. Um, family."

[keijisan]

I just stare at him for a moment. "...I think there are a lot of words I could use to describe Eiji-kun," I say slowly, "but 'normal' isn't really on the list, no."

"...what do you mean, you can do plenty? I thought you all came back as regular humans."

[catcameback]

I snort at that. True enough. "I mean, you know. Normal... Mortal? Not a monster? Try to do good things? That's normal for him, that's normal for my parents too. It's just how they are."

I hesitate at his question, then try and shrug it off without putting my hand near my pocket. "You're the last person that should be saying regular humans can't do anything to help."

[keijisan]

"Let me tell you, as someone who's tried it, I can't really in good conscience recommend being in a massive near-fatal auto accident, slipping into a compa, and then getting possessed by a bird for a year as a viable battle strategy," I tell him, my voice bone dry. "And, I already know you can do something dangerous that you don't want to talk about--you may as well tell me. If the fighting keeps up, I'm going to figure it out eventually anyway."

[catcameback]

"That wasn't exactly on my list of possible options." I frown at him. The idea of being possessed by Ankh makes me distinctly uncomfortable.

He would figure that out. This is my own fault. I scowl at him, and hiss a little. "I'm not about to tell a stranger."

[keijisan]

"It could have been worse, but not by a lot," I tell him cheerfully, then grin when he hisses.

"Fair enough. Good luck with whatever it is, though." My eyes sharpen, and I look hard at his face. "You do have a chance, here. It would break my heart to see you waste it."

[catcameback]

He thinks of me like a cat. A lot of people do. And I guess, in a lot of ways, I still am.

"What do you care about whether I waste something that's mine?" I snarl. "Besides, I'm doing fine. I'm doing the right thing, I'm using it to help."

[keijisan]

"Because I meant what I said, about thinking you deserve a chance at a regular life, one where you're whole and happy. Eiji-kun was helping, too, and it nearly swallowed him up." I shrug, looking more worried now. "Doing the right thing is important, but taking care of yourself is important too."

[catcameback]

"I have people to protect." I growl. "I'm not him, I'm not like him. I'm not fighting for some stupid idealized notion of the whole world, or... or whatever my arms can reach or whatever the hell he fights for... fought for. I have a family, and I'll do whatever I have to do to keep them safe."

[keijisan]

"...I understand," I say, my voice softening, and I can't help looking a little shaken, unnerved by the same intensity I'm so used to from the Greeeds turned to something unselfish.

"I do. I'd do anything to keep Hina safe, and if that's why you're fighting, then I can't argue. Just know you're not fighting alone."

[catcameback]

He seems freaked out. I frown, mostly at myself, and then gather Yummy off my shoulders. He makes a sleepy 'mrrp' sound that I interpret as 'what the fuck dad', but I shove him into the detective's arms anyway.

"That's why I'm on the good guys side this time. So I don't have to be alone anymore."

[keijisan]

I gather the cat into my arms, looking startled, but I rub gently behind its ears as I look at him, frowning a little.

"That's good to hear. ...and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," I offer, looking down at the cat shedding lazily on my shirt. "I'm still adjusting to everything being changed around, too--it's not as easy as I thought I might be. My intention wasn't to insult you, or what you're trying to do. It's just a lot to process."

[catcameback]

"Sorry I snapped at you." I offer. It's the kind of thing Jou would want me to do. "I'm a bit... um, protective of my... of the thing that I'm using that I'm not planning on telling you anything about. I don't know if it would work for someone else or not. Or if it'd be safe or... whatever."

[keijisan]

"I don't want to take it from you," I tell him, shifting the cat more comfortably. "But either way, unless it's hurting anybody, it's entirely your business--you obviously don't have to tell me if you don't want. And, like I said, I definitely understand wanting to protect your family. I think one of the things that's kept me calm so far is the idea that Hina's a continent away and can't get wrapped up in this whole mess again."

[catcameback]

"Well, good. No, I'm not hurting anyone. Not anyone good, anyway. I mean, I haven't yet, but if someone threatens my family..."

I pause, contemplating his words. "She's not here?" I don't think Eiji or Ankh had ever mentioned that. Then again, they'd never mentioned him either.

[keijisan]

"No, she's studying abroad right now, thank goodness," I sigh. "I was off visiting her--it's partly why I was away. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd be incredibly upset if Eiji-kun or Ankh was injured, but... it's different when it's family, too. I get it."

[catcameback]

I tilt my head slowly to one side, considering him, examining him carefully.

"You don't consider them family, then?"

[keijisan]

"They're very important to me," I say, my voice slow and thoughtful. "But Hina's and my parents died when she was about ten, and I raised her by myself after that. She's my responsibility, in ways that Eiji-kun and Ankh aren't. So it's not that I care about them less, but it's very different."

[catcameback]

Huh. I guess I'd never thought of family like that.

Well, maybe he's wrong anyway. "The Greeed are kinda my family too. Like brothers and sister. Not like my parents and brothers who took me in. Different, but the same too."

[keijisan]

"Will you fight to protect the other Greeeds, too?" I ask, and my eyes are suddenly intense, more like Ankh than he's seen me yet.

[catcameback]

That is fucking weird.

"If I have to." I say carefully. "They're human now, like me. But they're like my family, so yeah, I'll protect them."

Oh, fuck it. He has to find out eventually. "The other Ankh came back too."

[keijisan]

"That's good to hear," I say, and relax a little.

Until you drop that particular bombshell.

"Wait, what?!"

[catcameback]

My lip pulls back from my teeth in a low snarl at his reaction. I'm still a little more protective of him than I am of the other Ankh.

"Yeah. Before I did, actually, but like. A long time before I did. He's... grown up some."

[keijisan]

My right hand comes up against my chest and I wrap my left hand around my forearm in an instinctive protective gesture, not bothering to hide it. I can still remember what it was like, the shock of screaming adrenaline-fueled terror that had shot through the entirety of Ankh's body in an instant, Hina's hand bruisingly tight on mine with the last red Core pressed between them, and the sick, awful dragging sensation as Ankh was torn away from me, piece by shining piece before he finally collapsed. It's one of the few nightmares I have anymore that's really truly mine, and thinking about it makes my heart pound for a few moments before I can make myself let go of my wrist. Ankh isn't that fragile anymore, and this other Ankh probably isn't dangerous, and there's nothing to be worried about.

Ankh won't be taken away again.

"Sorry. We weren't exactly on great terms the last time we met," I say, mostly steadily, pushing my hands firmly into my pockets. "How does he feel about Ankh being around?"