Mushball universe, anyone who'd like to talk to Jou

[yellowlion]

I sit on the grass in our rear yard, legs crossed, and try to let myself sink into a meditative state. I don't do this very often. It's usually helpful, when I do.

I had the oddest feeling when I first met Joe, that I'd met him before. That this was meant to happen, in some way. Except he should've been wearing a blue leather jacket, and he was in tears, in my lab. Not a shy, troubled schoolkid convinced everything was his fault.

I pushed it aside as a stupid dream. When you have weird-ass dreams all the time anyway it's only too easy to assign meaning to them later.

But now? Now I'm beginning to wonder.

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[yellowlion]

My head jerks around and I stare at Katsumi, not sure if that stung so badly because it's true or because it's not.

I suspect it's the first.

"Because they're important to Joe. Even if he doesn't remember," I say softly. "The most important of all is Joe himself, and they agree with that. I'm not going to try to take that choice away from Joe. He's not five. He's old enough to make his own decisions."

[hotshotlightning]

I fold my arms and stare him down. Alright, yeah, it's Joe's decision in the end, I can't really seriously argue with that given my own history, but the way he's talking you'd think it was a done deal already.

"Does he know you want him to stay?" I ask pointedly. "I mean, really know it?" Because if they don't put any effort into making sure he knows this place his home, he might just leave anyway, thinking they're okay with it.

[catcameback]

"But he wants to stay here." I gripe, shifting around again so I'm lying flat on my stomach with my arms crossed beneath my head. Why can't I get comfortable today? "Doesn't he?"

[yellowlion]

"We told him," I answer Katsumi immediately, but then my certainty falters. "Well, we told him very strongly, straight away. But since then I've been giving him space. I thought that was what he wanted. Space to remember..."

Maybe I need to talk to him again.

"I think he does," I say, absentmindedly reaching out to stroke Kazari's shoulder. He's fidgety again. "I hope he does. I know he loves us."

[hotshotlightning]

"Space to stew, then," I agree blandly, mirroring Kazari and flopping down onto my back, staring up at the clouds moving across the sky. "Not like he spends a lot of time inside his head already or anything."

[catcameback]

I wrinkle my nose at the obvious patronizing, but it does feel good, so I don't bat his hand away.

"I'm sure he wants to stay. I bet he just doesn't know where to go because no one's telling him. Everyone's saying 'it's your choice, it's your choice'. People can't make those kinds of choices on their own." Especially not people like Joe, practically void of desire.

[yellowlion]

"Sarcasm?" I ask Katsumi wistfully. "With me? Really?"

I look from one to the other, processing what they're saying, and I start to smile. I'm still scared. Still worried. But having a course of action always helps. Even if it means I need to put my memories on hold for now. "So you're saying I need to go talk to him," I murmur, not actually seeking confirmation. They've kind of been bludgeoning the message into my head. It's not exactly subtle.

[hotshotlightning]

I raise my eyebrows at him disdainfully. Did he really expect a lack of sarcasm from me?

I'm tempted to applaude but he's already noted the sarcasm and I don't think it would really help. "Might not be a bad idea," I say instead. And the sooner he does it the better.