Snagged shamelessly from Bakerstreet.

[terlibra]

Roommates meme!

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE - Wow, college is going to be so fun! My roommate and I get along really well, Mom, you should hear all about it! We like the same music and movies and celebrities and...well, she's a bit obsessive, she got her hair cut and dyed like mine and keeps going on and on about how she wants contacts the same color as my eyes, but she's really nice! She just got in, I'll call you later, bye Mom! (TL;DR - You have a roommate who wants to be you. Have fun)

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK - He could not be more aggravating. Blaring music you think is shit, never taking out the trash, pissing on the floor when he's drunk and not even cleaning it up, bringing over people you can't stand at all hours of the day and night and now what? You cleaned all the dishes in the house and he had to have a bowl of cereal. A bowl he didn't even bother to rinse out. Time for some conflict of the YELLING REALLY LOUDLY!!!! kind.

STAR-CROSSED LOVERS - Obligatory sex option. You've been roommates for a while, but recently those furtive glances have been returned, they put their hand over yours when reaching for the coffee pot, and if something doesn't happen soon, you're going to end up a crying mess or flouncing out to get some poon elsewhere in frustration. Are you going to mesh well, or are you going to find out there's condoms in the house and have to make a trip to the gas station at two in the morning and deal with the worker staring at you as you buy XXLarge condoms?

BURY ME WITH IT - Your roommate is dying. Maybe they came home with a fatal diagnosis and can't help but spill. Maybe you watched them rescue a child from getting hit by a car and heard the thunk of their back breaking beneath ridiculously large tires. Console, comfort, hear their last words, tears and sorrow and a whole bucket load of angst.

HAN SOLO IS GAY - Technology is fun. You roommate takes it too far. Fight to the death. Offender may bring up that he wouldn't be able to do it if his roomie wasn't dumbass enough to leave his laptop laying around in the first place. Offender may have stolen it for the evulz. You never sent this text...

WILDCARD - seriously do whatever you want anon suggested it HERE IT IS

Post with character/universe and the person who replies to you is your new, exciting roommate! (With issues.)

Comments

[wontworkovertime]

Is he seriously getting upset over cake? He's not going to start whining about not getting any, is he?

"What I put on my side of the fridge is up to me. If anything, you need to clean up your side. A lot."

All that take-out curry he orders constantly drips onto the shelf and it's getting really nasty. I love curry, but not when it's making the entire fridge sticky.

[iheartdekared]

"I had to cut expenses somewhere, I'm saving up for the SHFiguArts Red Hawk and Black Condor!!!" That means saving my food, too! Maybe if I could eat cake I wouldn't have to save my curry, but no...

I thought I lucked out moving out and rooming with a pretty girl. But she's actually evil and doesn't even know the names of all the Kakurangers!!!

[wontworkovertime]

Oh god.

"What are you, twelve?" I don't think I've raised my voice once through all this. I feel more like I'm talking down to a grade-schooler than scolding a man who's (theoretically) older than me. "You're buying toys. Children's toys. Instead of real food."

And seriously, cake isn't going to help him, here.

[iheartdekared]

"Sentai isn't just for kids! If it were, the toys wouldn't be this expensive!" I want to cry in Deka Red hug pillow, but sentai's taught me to have courage [and then I'll turn into a dragon]. "Excuuuuse me for having a hobby and life outside of work!!!"

[wontworkovertime]

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, of course it's not for kids. That's why it airs at seven-thirty on Sunday mornings." He's hugging that one pillow way harder than any man really should. He does remember he's a man, right?

"And what I do outside of work has nothing to do with your obsession over fictional characters. When was the last time you even took a vacation, let alone could afford one?"

Knows everything about sentai, doesn't know what a Kamen Rider is

[iheartdekared]

"Every year, I got to Tokyo to watch the latest sentai movie. I already have tickets for the Go-Busters film," I say with a smirk. "So checkmate." Even if I have sit through the Cocoa Rider one later.

Omg, what a total dork. XD

[wontworkovertime]

...this is not the game-winning statement he thinks it is.

"I can't believe this. Are you seriously..." I don't even have to finish this. Of course he's serious. He's stupidly serious in how stupid he is.

"You know what? I don't even think I'd care, as long as you could actually clean up after yourself. What you...do...with your pillows is your own business, but the least you could do is clean up your crap."

Ha ha ha, tbh this is 60% me =P

[cye_of_the_torrent]

What does she mean....

"Hey! I worked hard to get my Jetmen arranged on the coffee table like that!" The one I brought from my house, sheesh. "Do you know how hard it is to balance toys that old! I'll never get them in those poses again!"

Akagi, you look so...different. XD

[wontworkovertime]

"Oh really."

I walk over to the coffee table. Sure enough, his little plastic figures are in apparently epic poses all over the place. I kick the table leg and watch as they all fall over.

"Oh darn. Clean them up."

Ha ha, whoops, well is dorky Korra fangirl too terribly different?

[iheartdekared]

...

...

.....................................

I promptly sob into my Deka Red pillow.

[wontworkovertime]

...

....

.....

Like I'm going to fold from that.

I pick up a magazine and sit down on the couch. We'll see how long his temper tantrum lasts.

You'd be surprised how long his temper tantrums can last :X

[iheartdekared]

"You're worse than Ahimes!!!!" I manage between my tragic sobs.

[wontworkovertime]

There's a cute skirt in this one. I turn a page.

"Like I care who that is."

[iheartdekared]

"How dare you insult Changeman!!!!" The first series Hirose appeared in, and the one time he wasn't a villain!!!!

Oh, right, her precious magazines. There are a few here.

I start to eat one.

[wontworkovertime]

He is, in all seriousness, trying to eat one of my magazines.

Despite the fact that it's probably more nutritious than half the cardboard crap he eats, this is not something I'm willing to stand for.

I roll up my magazine and walk over to him. "Bad Akagi!" I whack him across the top of the head with my magazine. "Are you really that desperate to be a loser?"

[iheartdekared]

I hiss. "Never get between an otaku and their Super Sentai, unless you value your magazines' life!"

[wontworkovertime]

"Yeah, but I didn't destroy your figurines. They fell over. Your reaction is a little out of proportion."

Hell, everything he does is out of proportion. I wonder if he even knows what proportion is.

[iheartdekared]

"My over twenty year old figures! They're fragile; they could break! You could go out and buy a dozen new magazines right now, I can't exactly go out and replace a toy line that hasn't been active since 1992!!!"

[wontworkovertime]

I whack him again. He deserves it.

"If they're so fragile, why aren't they under glass instead of on the coffee table?" Idiot. I'm not sure he even hears himself.

I cross my arms and sigh. I'm not sure this is even worth my time anymore.

[iheartdekared]

"Glass storage is expensive, and I like to have them nearby to inspire me to take flight in my daily life..." And I like to take pics of Gai next to my beer.

[wontworkovertime]

"Right. So what you're saying is that one of these figures isn't really worth keeping safe. So you can't reasonably complain if they fall over. Idiot."

I don't know all the prices attached to these things, but I've passed those stores once or twice. He could afford storage for the oldest ones if he really wanted. He's just too single-minded to think of anything beyond hoarding.