[Mushverse. For Ad]

[beetlesazer]

I'm a little tipsy.

Sake is strong, and while I've mostly gotten used to the occasional nip here and there during my years on Earth, sometimes I indulge a little too much and get the giggles.

But I can still cook dinner for myself and Ad. And I have... things I need to discuss with him. Takuto is back, sort of. I don't think he's settled yet, and without Remy (bless her) that will be even more of a trial for him before he contacts us. I only know he's back in Japan because of how closely Ein and Zwein watch what's going on down here.

He has other friends now though, and I think they take precedence at the moment. And that's okay. He belongs to this world. We do not.

I make a dish that is inspired by the robust dishes of Ad's home. Biyodo. I never visited, but I learned enough about that world when I volunteered for the military that I can make a decent replication of a passable 'family' meal. It was expected that I would marry a strong Biyodo woman and have many strong military focused children.

This was of course before we got stuck back on Earth, nearly 500 years before we were even born.

I don't focus on that though, as I cook. I think about the lives we saved by coming here, by sacrificing our futures. I think about Ad, and how much I love him.

What I need to discuss with him.

I set the table, all formal and refined. Bowls for dipping sauce, bowls for noddles, bowls for fish and meat and vegetables. Chopsticks on their rests. Napkins. Warmed sake, fresh water. Fruits for palate cleansing.

Everything is perfect. And only moments before he gets home.

He's always on time.

Comments

[eaglesazer]

His voice has just the slightest familiar waver in it as he speaks of his homeworld. I know it's hard for him, as it is hard for me. Thinking about what we left behind, the sacrifices we've made.

I remember my first diplomatic trip to Rady, and all the trips that came after. Most the families were much like Kane's. Not as strictly regimented by caste as the populace of Biyodo, but they had the resources to support such freedom.

"I am glad you don't regret it." I inform him with a slight smile, turning my hand to stroke my fingertips along his jaw. "That is all I needed to hear. I just needed to know. You'd be a wonderful father." My throat tightens and I clear it to settle my voice. "Kane, I would like to take the next step in our courtship, truly. It probably won't seem like much to you..." I pull my hands back and retrieve the box from my pocket. I've been carrying it around with me everywhere for at least a fortnight.

I hold it up and open it. It's a simple metal band worked in two colors, nothing that will gain him unwarranted attention. On Biyodo, a ring of this style, though far different metals, would indicate that he had entered into a serious courtship with no intentions of courting another. "It would honor me if you would wear this. Traditionally, it goes on the second finger of your right hand, but I wasn't sure of the measurement of your fingers..."

[beetlesazer]

The significance of the ring isn't lost on me, knowing what I know of Biyodo courtship rituals and customs. Two metals, to be worn on the right hand. A promise to a person, and also an outward sign that I have been chosen by someone dear to me.

No one on Earth will probably understand the significance, but then I don't exactly frequent places where Earthly courtship is a high expectation. Beside that one student teacher that seemed a little too interested in me. The one I have a strong inkling is at that school for similar reasons that Ad and I am, given the obvious lack of training she has. She's nice enough though, so I can't really say anything bad about her.

"Ad," I am trying very hard to keep happy tears from shining in my eyes, but it's difficult with the situation, with such a significant ring being presented to me, such sincere and nervous words being spoken.

I don't let him continue his nervous words, instead I lean in and kiss him softly, pressing our foreheads together after so I can laugh lightly. "It would honor me to wear it."

[eaglesazer]

He's crying, or at least there are tears in his eyes, but I've been with him long enough to know he's not upset. Touched, yes, obviously so. Happy, I hope. But not about to deny me this heart's wish of mine.

Then he leans closer and does an admirable job of completely removing most traces of fear from my mind, though the general anxiety of preparing for the next steps continues to linger.

For now, though, for now I can be happy that he wants to kiss me, that he's going to wear the ring, that he knows what it means and he wants to wear it anyway.

"Thank you." I tell him earnestly, shifting to give him another light kiss. "You mean worlds to me, Kane. I'm sorry this took me so long. I have to do it right, you understand. I have to do right by you."

[beetlesazer]

"I love you," the words slip from my lips before I can think about them. I don't think we've said them before. Though maybe we have, late at night when both of us are sleepy? Or maybe we've let it slip in a more casual context.

Still, I don't think either of us has said them with such a seriously weighted situation hanging over us. Joyful, but serious all the same.

"You don't have to be sorry. I wasn't going anywhere. It was a little frustrating to wait," I admit this sheepishly, my cheeks burning up suddenly. By now on Rady we'd already be sleeping together in a much more intimate way than just side by side, and probably well toward (or even into) marriage.

"But this step, and all the steps we need to take, means a lot to me."

[eaglesazer]

My breath hitches a little when he tells me he loves me. Not that I doubt his words, of course I don't. I'm quite sure I feel the same way about him. But in this context, the words have so much more weight to them.

"I know." I say softly. "Courtship is very different on Rady, is it not?"

I take both of his hands in mine and squeeze them gently.

"Kane, may I share your bed tonight?" It's an old question, one he's been used to for a while yet. But I still need to ask.

[beetlesazer]

"I don't mind," I kiss his cheek, sighing softly. "It's faster on Rady, less formal. I have wants that are going at a slower pace than they should. If we were both from Rady."

I pull back enough so that I can meet his eyes, smiling happily at him. Letting him know I am okay. "But we're not both from Rady. And I am happy to follow your traditions."

I give his hands a gentle squeeze in return, when he asks that same question he's asked me on so many nights before. I wonder if they mean more this time, of if it's simply the same request to sleep beside me.

Either way I am happy to welcome him, especially now that his ring rests comfortably on my hand. "Always, Ad. Always."

[eaglesazer]

"I know that," I start, but he cuts me off with the sweetest words.

Considering what I do know about courting rituals on Rady, I'm in for a wild ride, if we ever get to that point, and he will more than certainly pay me back for all of the trouble I've caused him in sticking obstinately to my roots.

I grip his hands, then pull him closer for a hug, wrapping my arms carefully around his shoulders and holding him tight against me. Even after all this time, he's still so slight, he feels so young and vulnerable in my arms. I know he's not, he's nearly as capable as me in the battlefield, and what he lacks in physical strength he more than makes up for with intelligence. But I still feel the drive to protect him.

"Thank you. Shall we?"

[beetlesazer]

I hold tight to Ad when he pulls me in for a hug, wrapping my arms around his middle and clinging a bit to the back of his shirt. I rest my cheek on his shoulder, turning my head so I am facing his neck. I breathe him in and sigh.

I love him deeply. More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone.

"Just," I sigh, sliding a little closer to him and nosing lightly at his neck. "Just wait a moment."

I sway a little, against him, with him maybe? And I hum softly. At first just a songless tune, and then it turns into an old song from Rady. One that I've forgotten the words to, but still resonates in my heart.

"I want you to share my bed with me." I whisper near Ad's ear, feeling warm and safe in his arms. "Tonight and every night after."

[eaglesazer]

"Of course." I say softly, tilting my head to press my lips into his hair. This I can do, and have done many times before. Hold him close, know he's safe, appreciate his presence, in my life and in the universe at large. The entire world is better for him existing.

He starts to move, and I move with him on a long since untouched instinct.

And then I laugh, quietly, and give him a little squeeze.

"Do you remember when we met? At the gala celebrating your incredible bravery and sacrifice?" And we were made to dance a number of traditional dances, both from his home and from mine. He had, and still has a natural grace. I had been trained from childhood.

[beetlesazer]

I snort at the memory. "Oh I remember that gala. I remember I wished everyone would just leave me be. They were treating me like I was already a war hero, when I was just an early promoted cadet."

I was too young, I shouldn't have been the one chosen from Rady to go back and stop the Neo Descal, there were many other older and more qualified applicants for the mission.

I have only the gods to thank for that, despite how scared I was before we left. If I hadn't been selected I wouldn't have met Ad.

"I also remember your face when you were made to dance the Elia Reval, the dance between men? You were so stiff and awkward, it was really adorable." It's hilarious really, awkward as Ad is at times, I know he is able to be graceful. I think most of the dances from home were a bit too whirling and suggestive for him.

[eaglesazer]

"You were a hero." I say softly, reaching to take his hand and give it a little squeeze. "I knew it. Your people did too. Only a hero would have volunteered for such a reckless mission."

I smirk a bit at the memory, the way he's poking fun at how stiff and awkward I was then. Not that I have loosened up so much in the time since, but even I can remember the way he had to lead those dances. "I did my best." I chuckle, pulling him closer and slipping an arm around his waist. "I knew then how strong you would be. How brave."

[beetlesazer]

My heart does all sorts of happy flips when he pulls me closer. I lean into him, sighing softly, and then laugh at his words. Lightly, not mockingly, just in mild disbelief.

"You say that like I'm strong now. Or brave." I spread my hands over his back, feel the still well toned muscles beneath his clothes. He keeps himself in such good shape, even after so may years or peace (well, years where we haven't been the ones fighting, anyway). He may wear a teacher's clothes now, but he's still a soldier, through and through.

"I just come through when it counts. That's all."

[eaglesazer]

"You are." It takes a measure of self control not to call him stupid for his self-shaped blind spot, and yet it's a measure that I have gained in spades since meeting him. "You have always been strong. And perhaps the bravest of us all, protecting your entire family in the only way you could. This is not something I could have done." I smile, a bit awkwardly, and grasp his shoulders gently, pulling him close against my chest and resting my chin on the top of his head.

"That's all a hero is, Kane. Coming through when it counts."

[beetlesazer]

I go quiet over his words, doing my best to drink them in as honesty. Truly I know Ad never speaks anything but what he knows it absolute fact, but I still have trouble believing I'm some great hero.

I finally give him a small nod, my head still resting against him, and sigh softly, letting my eyes slip closed. "If you say so."

[eaglesazer]

I give him a little squeeze, finding him just as small as he ever was. He fits in my arms so neatly. I am not well conditioned to believe in fate, but sometimes Kane makes me wonder. Happily, of course.

"I do say so." I pull him back to arms length and lean in for a kiss to seal my words. I can do that, now, with that ring on his finger.

"Shall we go to bed?"

[beetlesazer]

I tremble a little as he kisses me, so much more open and needfully than he has before. I hum against his mouth, feeling like I might wilt in his arms, as silly and cliché as that may be.

I sway a little when he pulls back, my cheeks faintly warm. I know not much will coming from 'going to bed' wit him. Not yet, I don't think. But I still like to hear it.

Maybe someday.

"Yes," I pull back and take one of his hands in mine, lacing our fingers, and smile at him sweetly as I guide him to my-

To our bedroom.