[Mushverse: for OOOs peoples mostly]

[catcameback]

I think I'm becoming more human.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Actually, I'm not even sure if that's possible.

Which is what has me sitting outside in my usual park, at the base of a tree instead of in it for once, turning my Switch over and over in my head, sometimes balancing it on it's point and seeing how long it can stand like that, and wondering...

It's been a while since I've used to last. Not since we found Joe.

I wonder if it's possible for it to stop working.

Comments

[catcameback]

"You really are weird, Detective Izumi Shingo." I shake my head at him and even chuckle a little. "You'll forgive me if I find it hard to believe you actually cared so much about any of us. Or maybe, I mean any of us but Ankh. Obviously you had some kind of attachment there..."

It's funny, though, because I know it wasn't Ankh and OOO who finished me off in the end. They didn't help, but I fell on my own sword, teaming up with that psycho Maki.

"It's kinda stupid sometimes." I admit. "Living, I mean. Feeling. Sometimes I wonder why I ever wanted it in the first place, but then, I figure I only ever wanted it because I didn't have it."

[keijisan]

"You can just call me Shingo. And, believe me, I wasn't painfully overly concerned at the time. I can afford this sort of reflection now that you're all able to do a lot less property damage," I say matter-of-factly.

"And, I'll tell you the same thing I told Mezool when I saw her--you get used to it, but I won't lie and tell you it ever gets easy. I will tell you that I think it's worth it, and that you have people who'll help you if you need it."

[catcameback]

I blink at him for that one, my hand sliding down to my pocket reflexively. I really gotta work on that tell, it freaked out that other Kamen Rider too, at the hospital.

I force a laugh and a snarky smirk. "Yeah, guess we've got no choice but to be on the good guys side this time."

I tilt my head curiously. "You saw Mezool, huh? How's she doing?"

[keijisan]

My whole body tenses electrically when his hand goes for his pocket, but he doesn't pull out a weapon and I just watch him narrowly for a long moment.

"I don't think you're obligated to be on any side," I say slowly, my brow furrowing. "Not really. You guys have enough to figure out without having to worry about fighting in the middle of it, and you're technically civilians now. I don't think anybody expects you to fight, and nobody will think less of you if you choose not to. If this is your chance at a normal life, I'd say take it."

"She seems all right. She has a place to stay, and everything--I tried to convince her to go to school, but I don't know if it stuck." I shake my head ruefully. "She's adjusting."

[catcameback]

"You'd be surprised." I shrug his advice off and spread my hands. "My parents are heroes. So's at least one of my brothers. I can't exactly sit by and try and... enjoy a normal life or whatever where there's so much stuff happening. Danger, I mean."

I smirk at the thought of Mezool in school. "I go to school sometimes. Less recently, but sometimes."

[keijisan]

"You told me they were 'relatively normal humans,'" I say, but I'm nodding my understanding.

"...it's hard, to feel like you can't do anything when people you care about are in danger."

[catcameback]

I blink. "Well, OOO, uh, Eiji, he's... relatively normal too, isn't he? They're still special. A lot of people in this town are... special, is all."

I run a hand through my hair and shrug. "I can do plenty. But I have to do it, that's all. To protect my pride. Um, family."

[keijisan]

I just stare at him for a moment. "...I think there are a lot of words I could use to describe Eiji-kun," I say slowly, "but 'normal' isn't really on the list, no."

"...what do you mean, you can do plenty? I thought you all came back as regular humans."

[catcameback]

I snort at that. True enough. "I mean, you know. Normal... Mortal? Not a monster? Try to do good things? That's normal for him, that's normal for my parents too. It's just how they are."

I hesitate at his question, then try and shrug it off without putting my hand near my pocket. "You're the last person that should be saying regular humans can't do anything to help."

[keijisan]

"Let me tell you, as someone who's tried it, I can't really in good conscience recommend being in a massive near-fatal auto accident, slipping into a compa, and then getting possessed by a bird for a year as a viable battle strategy," I tell him, my voice bone dry. "And, I already know you can do something dangerous that you don't want to talk about--you may as well tell me. If the fighting keeps up, I'm going to figure it out eventually anyway."

[catcameback]

"That wasn't exactly on my list of possible options." I frown at him. The idea of being possessed by Ankh makes me distinctly uncomfortable.

He would figure that out. This is my own fault. I scowl at him, and hiss a little. "I'm not about to tell a stranger."

[keijisan]

"It could have been worse, but not by a lot," I tell him cheerfully, then grin when he hisses.

"Fair enough. Good luck with whatever it is, though." My eyes sharpen, and I look hard at his face. "You do have a chance, here. It would break my heart to see you waste it."

[catcameback]

He thinks of me like a cat. A lot of people do. And I guess, in a lot of ways, I still am.

"What do you care about whether I waste something that's mine?" I snarl. "Besides, I'm doing fine. I'm doing the right thing, I'm using it to help."

[keijisan]

"Because I meant what I said, about thinking you deserve a chance at a regular life, one where you're whole and happy. Eiji-kun was helping, too, and it nearly swallowed him up." I shrug, looking more worried now. "Doing the right thing is important, but taking care of yourself is important too."

[catcameback]

"I have people to protect." I growl. "I'm not him, I'm not like him. I'm not fighting for some stupid idealized notion of the whole world, or... or whatever my arms can reach or whatever the hell he fights for... fought for. I have a family, and I'll do whatever I have to do to keep them safe."

[keijisan]

"...I understand," I say, my voice softening, and I can't help looking a little shaken, unnerved by the same intensity I'm so used to from the Greeeds turned to something unselfish.

"I do. I'd do anything to keep Hina safe, and if that's why you're fighting, then I can't argue. Just know you're not fighting alone."

[catcameback]

He seems freaked out. I frown, mostly at myself, and then gather Yummy off my shoulders. He makes a sleepy 'mrrp' sound that I interpret as 'what the fuck dad', but I shove him into the detective's arms anyway.

"That's why I'm on the good guys side this time. So I don't have to be alone anymore."

[keijisan]

I gather the cat into my arms, looking startled, but I rub gently behind its ears as I look at him, frowning a little.

"That's good to hear. ...and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," I offer, looking down at the cat shedding lazily on my shirt. "I'm still adjusting to everything being changed around, too--it's not as easy as I thought I might be. My intention wasn't to insult you, or what you're trying to do. It's just a lot to process."

[catcameback]

"Sorry I snapped at you." I offer. It's the kind of thing Jou would want me to do. "I'm a bit... um, protective of my... of the thing that I'm using that I'm not planning on telling you anything about. I don't know if it would work for someone else or not. Or if it'd be safe or... whatever."

[keijisan]

"I don't want to take it from you," I tell him, shifting the cat more comfortably. "But either way, unless it's hurting anybody, it's entirely your business--you obviously don't have to tell me if you don't want. And, like I said, I definitely understand wanting to protect your family. I think one of the things that's kept me calm so far is the idea that Hina's a continent away and can't get wrapped up in this whole mess again."

[catcameback]

"Well, good. No, I'm not hurting anyone. Not anyone good, anyway. I mean, I haven't yet, but if someone threatens my family..."

I pause, contemplating his words. "She's not here?" I don't think Eiji or Ankh had ever mentioned that. Then again, they'd never mentioned him either.

[keijisan]

"No, she's studying abroad right now, thank goodness," I sigh. "I was off visiting her--it's partly why I was away. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd be incredibly upset if Eiji-kun or Ankh was injured, but... it's different when it's family, too. I get it."

[catcameback]

I tilt my head slowly to one side, considering him, examining him carefully.

"You don't consider them family, then?"

[keijisan]

"They're very important to me," I say, my voice slow and thoughtful. "But Hina's and my parents died when she was about ten, and I raised her by myself after that. She's my responsibility, in ways that Eiji-kun and Ankh aren't. So it's not that I care about them less, but it's very different."

[catcameback]

Huh. I guess I'd never thought of family like that.

Well, maybe he's wrong anyway. "The Greeed are kinda my family too. Like brothers and sister. Not like my parents and brothers who took me in. Different, but the same too."