Snagged shamelessly from Bakerstreet.

[terlibra]

Roommates meme!

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE - Wow, college is going to be so fun! My roommate and I get along really well, Mom, you should hear all about it! We like the same music and movies and celebrities and...well, she's a bit obsessive, she got her hair cut and dyed like mine and keeps going on and on about how she wants contacts the same color as my eyes, but she's really nice! She just got in, I'll call you later, bye Mom! (TL;DR - You have a roommate who wants to be you. Have fun)

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK - He could not be more aggravating. Blaring music you think is shit, never taking out the trash, pissing on the floor when he's drunk and not even cleaning it up, bringing over people you can't stand at all hours of the day and night and now what? You cleaned all the dishes in the house and he had to have a bowl of cereal. A bowl he didn't even bother to rinse out. Time for some conflict of the YELLING REALLY LOUDLY!!!! kind.

STAR-CROSSED LOVERS - Obligatory sex option. You've been roommates for a while, but recently those furtive glances have been returned, they put their hand over yours when reaching for the coffee pot, and if something doesn't happen soon, you're going to end up a crying mess or flouncing out to get some poon elsewhere in frustration. Are you going to mesh well, or are you going to find out there's condoms in the house and have to make a trip to the gas station at two in the morning and deal with the worker staring at you as you buy XXLarge condoms?

BURY ME WITH IT - Your roommate is dying. Maybe they came home with a fatal diagnosis and can't help but spill. Maybe you watched them rescue a child from getting hit by a car and heard the thunk of their back breaking beneath ridiculously large tires. Console, comfort, hear their last words, tears and sorrow and a whole bucket load of angst.

HAN SOLO IS GAY - Technology is fun. You roommate takes it too far. Fight to the death. Offender may bring up that he wouldn't be able to do it if his roomie wasn't dumbass enough to leave his laptop laying around in the first place. Offender may have stolen it for the evulz. You never sent this text...

WILDCARD - seriously do whatever you want anon suggested it HERE IT IS

Post with character/universe and the person who replies to you is your new, exciting roommate! (With issues.)

Comments

Masato, open

[beetbuster]

(Have fun living in the woods with him)

[freezingissues]

[There is no fun to be had here. None at all.]

Oh God I'm so sorry

[beetbuster]

[Sure there is!]

[For example, this stick, that he's waving not unlike a conductor leading a band right now, eying you contemplatively]

Sooooo, what's your pick of chores?

[freezingissues]

I'll do what has to be done.

[He can already feel the fact this was a terrible idea while eying that stick.]

[beetbuster]

Awesome, wanna start a fire while I pitch up the tent Kurorin was lovely enough to give you?

2, obviously!

[interpolate]

[Seriously though stop taking my things, stop drinking my Enetron milk(???), you're also getting me in trouble with my boss and basically I hate you.]

<3 It can be canon or modern AU, up to you

[beetbuster]

[Hey now, he's the Doctor from Voyager got a weird metabolism. If he doesn't, he'll die. Die!!! Do you want that?!?]

[And some of that goes to his Buddyroid his old, cranky grey cat. Which he did not tell he had when he moved in. Hope you enjoyed waking up to J on your face.]

[I can't imagine why they would ever put up with each other in canon XD so AU it is!]

[interpolate]

[He is full of merde is what he is. Weird metabolism my left foot.]

[And maybe I do want that, because then I could get a decent room mate who doesn't come and go at all hours and play very loud salsa music while he's jazzercising. Or whatever it is you do.]

[Also thanks a lot, am allergic. Now who's dying?]

Awesome

[beetbuster]

[Hey now, he has to keep his body in shape! He works hard at his desk sedentary job at Engineering Land, doing Engineering Things, so he can help pay rent and bills, but you don't appreciate him at all. >:( Next you'll be saying you don't like he when he visits you at work.]

[He also tosses J in your room when J's feeling playful, i.e. attacking him and drawing blood if he so much as shifts in bed. Because he's a great person like that.]

:D/

[interpolate]

[It must be so hard to sit around at a computer all day. Engineering.]

[Also never visit me at work. Don't you have any real friends?]

[Cough, wheeze. Sniffle.]

[I am going to get fired, and it'll be your fault.]

Re: :D/

[beetbuster]

[It is. :(]

[Yes, but he tends to rummage in their pants pockets while they're still wearing said pants, trying to get at their wallets to pay for the gifts he got them, so he's been politely informed to give them some space this week]

... Oi, Enter-chan, are you sick? Do ya need me to care for you?

[interpolate]

[That explains so much.]

[Long-suffering glare, drops J on your foot.]

No. Not sick.

[Also I would not wish your care on my worst enemy.]

[Which might well be you.]

[Hm, paradox.]

[beetbuster]

[... and J promptly starts scratching him up, ow ow ow, damn cat, ow ow ow]

Riiiiight, because people totally sniffle when they're healthy. Hang on, I keep my meds with all my hair stuff.

[therefore, finding it may take awhile]

[interpolate]

[Actually cracks a smirk at that.]

I'm not sick, Jin. Your cat slept on my face.

[Something else I don't trust. All that hair product.]

[beetbuster]

Weird. Maybe you just have a comfortable face?

Yeah, well, you're always blowing your cash on that creepy laptop of yours [which is probably full of porn], how are you gonna have medicine?

2 again!

[blue_pleather]

[Ryuuji had a perfectly nice room at EMC :( ]

lol he has that kinda luck w/ people

[beetbuster]

[Yes, but now you have YOUR SEMPAI, which is obviously so much better!!!]

[Your sempai, who is currently decking out the living room with lava lamps. Gotta have ambiance.]

[blue_pleather]

[already anticipating a headache]

[calmly sitting on sofa, swallowing painkillers with a glass of water, oblivious to the onslaught of tackiness all around]

[beetbuster]

[forever oblivious]

Ryuuuuuuuuji, should we go with electric purple, or silver with sparkles for our kitchen curtains?

[best decorated house EVER]

[blue_pleather]

... Silver, maybe? To match J.

[it's also slightly less retina-searing than the purple]

[beetbuster]

Of course!!! We'll save the purple for bathroom.

[runs off]

[the bedrooms are next...]

[blue_pleather]

[dreading it]

[patiently awaiting your return and all the sorrows it will bring]

[beetbuster]

[There, now we have the beautiful kitchen EVER.]

Oh, by the way, this should go in the living room! It reminds me of our struggle with Vaglass.

[it's a statue of a mongoose fighting a cobra, and very symbolic]

[blue_pleather]

[very, very weak smile]

It's ... great, sempai. It really represents our battle against the forces of evil

[ker-ringe. Not sure how long he can keep this up.]

[beetbuster]

[:D Ryuuji gets him, unlike that stick in the mud Kurorin]

[puts it dead center on the top of the coffee table]